James Evans didn’t win a championship at Under Attack. To James, his victory was something so much more. He was able to kill two birds with one stone. He went out and defeated David Helms as well as Collin Cole. Collin Cole is an up and comer. He has a bright future. Even James can admit that. He more than likely won’t unless he is in a giving mood. Cole brought the fight to not only Helms but to James as well. At first it appeared that David and Cole were going to take James out early and have the match become all about them. That would have been a far worse travesty than two women competing for the SCW World Heavyweight Championship. But James was not going to have any of that. James made sure that the night was not about either of his opponents.
David is driving towards his final match, his final level apparently. James knew that the story would have had the happy ending had Collin won, but the ending everyone truly wanted to see was David Helms standing tall, not only overcoming an athlete he respects in Cole, but Helms standing tall over the quote unquote villainous James Evans. David begged for James to be added to the match. David wanted to teach James a lesson for destroying Simon Lyman. But that ending did not happen. The image of David Helms standing on the top rope, fireworks going off around him while the fans chanted his name in unison did not happen. James Evans made sure of that. James went in with the mindset that David Helms was not going to win. James didn’t even care if Collin Cole won, just as long as Helms lost. That was the top priority.
But when it was all said and done, James Evans killed two birds with one stone. David Helms did not win. James Evans stood tall, being declared the victor. James taught Cole a lesson. He informed Cole that his time may come but it would not arrive at James’ expense. James made sure Cole understood that James’ time was now. James also taught David Helms a lesson. James was not going to live in his shadow anymore. He was not going to allow David Helms to hog all of the spotlight, all of the glory that was handed to him through a voting system years ago. James taught David Helms that he meant it when James said that this business is survival of the fittest as well as the smartest. Sunday night, David realized that James was smarter.
James feels as if he has adapted more and more throughout his career. He feels that he is getting to a point where he truly knows when and where to pick his spot. Some people may seem him as explosive. Some people may seem him as careless or reckless. Some people may even see him as nothing more than cowardly, but to James all he is doing is simply…biding his time. As he has stated before, there is a method to his madness, there is creativity in his chaos. The disaster he creates cannot be deciphered even though there are those fools who believe that they can, that they have James figured out. The thing about James Evans is that there is more…so much more…than meets the eye. He cannot and will not be explained. James Evans, despite the words of others, is not like any other wrestler to ever grace a ring in the SCW.
He has his eyes on the prize. James Evans wants the SCW World Tag Team Championships. He also wants the SCW World Heavyweight Championship. He is determined. It flows through his veins like the blood pumping from his heart. James will achieve his goals. He will hold the prizes and he will claim them as his own. All in due time.
And James knows that…he has nothing but…
My hands on the wheel, my eyes trying to focus on the road, hearing the voice I know all too well, knowing the voice truly isn’t there. I feel my eyes shift from the road ahead of me to the mirror above me and I see him, the figure behind the voice.
“What are you doing here?”
The words escape my mouth as he stares at me through the mirror. He is decked out in an all-black suit. His long hair is slicked back and his beard is nicely trimmed. He looks exactly the way he looked before he was buried. I know he’s not there, but I have known that for awhile. I have seen him here and there since he died. I laugh about it sometimes, telling myself that he haunts me, annoying me from beyond the grave.
“Now is that anyway to talk to your old man, James? Especially since it’s been awhile since we last spoke. I figured I would get a much warmer welcome than that.”
The nerve of the son of a bitch, I think to myself, as I shake my head. He may be gone but he still knows how to be an asshole. I am not sure if I am going crazy or if I am like that little shit from the Sixth Sense, where I can see dead people. I tell myself that if I am then I hope to fade into obscurity at some point where I am completely forgotten and never heard from again. That sort of life sounds a hell of a lot simpler.
“Well, you and I never had the best of relationships so you should be used to the fact that I don’t get all excited when you’re around. So once again, I will ask…what are you doing here? I don’t really feel like putting up with your bullshit tonight.”
My dad moves to the center of the backseat, leaning forward, bracing his head onto the top of his hands, crossing them over. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, having a mock sad facial expression, before it grows into a grin followed by a laugh.
“James, you have always been quite the smart ass. I am glad to know that you haven’t changed since my untimely demise.”
I shake my head and release a scoff, “I have changed. I have changed for the better dad, but then again you wouldn’t know that. You wouldn’t know it or acknowledge even if you were alive.”
“Oh James…you’re still in the same position I left you in. You are working for Briggs. You are trying to help them get rid of Sanders. Yet he knows you’re a rat. You’re feeling sorry for yourself. You’re putting the lives of your family in jeopardy. So yeah please…James…tell me…how have you changed?”
My eyes dart to the mirror, as they meet his, “I wouldn’t be here…”
“Oh you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me?” My father mocks me once again, his face bending downwards, a quiver appearing in his bottom lip, “James get over yourself. You said yes to Sanders years ago. You know it and I know it. You said yes to Briggs when he came to you for help. I am sure you were looking for some sort of retribution or redemption, but honestly…James, you’re my son. It isn’t in the cards for you. The smartest decision you have ever made in your life was when you said yes to leaving with me and that was because you were protecting your mother…your brother and sister…But now you’re in this pickle…putting them in danger once more…”
I don’t say anything at first, because I know he’s right. He may not be there, he may not be alive, but the words aren’t any less true. I should have said no. But I have done nothing but say yes. And the most responsible thing that I ever did was leave with my father, keeping my family safe. But…I tell myself…it didn’t keep Dawn and her daughter safe from Sanders. He killed them.
“And I know you what you’re thinking James…” My father leans forward a bit more, whispering the words in my ear, “But her death was not your responsibility. Her involvement with that fucker Rex was her downfall. She knew too much. And now, trust me…I don’t condone killing women and children…but Sanders doesn’t see it that way.”
I feel a fury build up inside of me the longer I think about Dawn and her daughter. I slam on the brakes, bringing the car to an abrupt stop, I then turn and glare at my father, “What the fuck are you getting at? Quit with the bullshit you asshole and tell me why you’re here. You’ve been going on and on and on but you’re not telling me anything that I don’t already fucking know.”
My father and I lock eyes once more. There is no smirk this time as he goes to speak, having my undivided attention, “You want to keep your family safe. You want to keep yourself safe I am sure, but we both know that isn’t in the cards for you either. You will spend the rest of your life in defense mode, James. You are not meant to be comfortable, but men with power don’t need to get comfy and left their guard up. I did and look where it got me…”
“Men with power? What are you talking about?”
I feel my body jump as my father slams his fist down on the front seat before glaring at me, his eyes black and lifeless, “You need to accept your place. You need to take control of Sanders’ operation and restore the balance…you need to take back what belongs to us and make it your own, James. That is what I am trying to say. You already have the money. All you need now is the power and it is right in front of you just waiting for you to reach out and seize it.”
I turn away and look down at my lap, closing my eyes after taking a few short breaths, “I don’t want that Dad. You should know that.”
“You should know that you’re doing nothing more than lying to yourself. You do want it. You have always wanted it. You just don’t want to be like me. Well, James you have it in you to be something so much more than me. You can make everything I built into your own. You can be a king, James. You can own the city. You can own the world. You can be a fucking king.”
I shake my head and open my eyes. I scoff and shake my head some more. I shake my head because he is right. He is in my head. He knows me inside and out. He knows all that I try to hide, all that I try to fight, all that I try to deny. He knows me because he is me and I am him. I have always been my father.
“And if I am to get any of that…if I am to have all of that then what do I have to do? And how would living that life keep mom…Holly…Logan…how would they be safe? If people will come after me then they will surely come after them no matter what I do.”
My father shrugs his shoulders, “Well, that is a risk you’ll have to take. But people will fear you. People will not want to cross you, James. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to your mother or your siblings. I never wanted it to. I had to deal with that when you were growing up. A lot of people had to die in order for me to protect all of you. You may have to do that as well.”
“I don’t want to kill anyone,” My voice trails off, as I shake my head, knowing my words aren’t true. I draw in a breath, holding it for a few moments, before slowly exhaling as I say, “Except for Sanders…”
The sound of my father cackling begins to ring in my ears as I press down on the gas and continue driving through the night, “That’s my boy!!! Now you’re talking son!” I find it odd the way that I am feeling over his enthused glee. I know he’s not there, but it makes me think of how my father would react if he were actually here. I ask myself if he would actually be as proud of me if I told him that I wanted the empire he built. I ask myself if he would love the fact that I want to end Sanders’ life.
“I don’t know why you’re so excited. I don’t want to go around killing people. I am not a big fan of it. Trust me when I say that. I took another man’s life and it made me sick so I want to avoid that as much as possible. When and if I kill Sanders, I swear it’s going to be the last time,” I say as I pull into my parking spot at my home sweet home.
“I know what you did, James. You did it because you had to. That is how I was when I killed people. I did it because I had to. I didn’t do it because I wanted to. It was something that had to be done. I would expect you to do the same no matter what the situation is. Have some sort of honor in taking the lives of others. Just as I did. I know that you know it is kill or be killed in this life. You have to be the hunter even when it feels like you’re being the hunted.”
I put the car in park as the words sink into my brain after spinning around like a tornado in my ears, destroying everything else in their path, killing any and all sound other than my father’s voice as he continues, “Killing is a part of life, James. Sanders more than likely feels like he has you backed into a corner like some sort of wild animal. He feels like he is in control. You need to let him know that he’s not. You need to kill him, son and when you do, you will be king. You will control everything you wish. There will be no one who can truly stand up to you and try to overthrow you, especially if you do as I am telling you.”
I turn in the driver’s seat to find my father now leaning back against the cushion of the backseat, his hands placed firmly on his black pants. We lock eyes as I say, “You honestly think that killing Sanders will guarantee me everything? I am sure there will be some sort of power struggle. Besides, there is always that chance that Briggs is able to arrest Sanders which would mean that I don’t have to kill him. If that can be avoided then by all means…let Briggs take Sanders. I wouldn’t have to lift a finger.”
My father shakes his head, “James, if you don’t kill him then Sanders will always be around. He will always be a thorn in your side. If you don’t kill Sanders then he will always try to stand up against you and take what is rightfully yours. Sanders is like the common cold. There is a cure but there is always a chance that it will come back. You have the power to put an end to him permanently.”
I turn away and look at my reflection in the side mirror of the car. I hold my own gaze for a few moments, before finally responding, “You’re nothing more than a figment of my imagination, yet you’re still so real. You’re just a voice in my head…Why should I listen to you?”
A grin appears on his face, “You are right about that James. I am just a voice in your head. In fact, I am probably the only voice in your head that you truly listen to because you know that I am telling you what you really feel inside. You want to kill Sanders. You know that you need to. You try to ignore it. You try to fight it which is when I appear. I talk sense into you. I help you understand what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. You say you’re addicted to disaster. All I am, son, is the realization. I am the bearer of truth…”
“With the truth being that I need to kill Sanders and anyone else who stands in my way. With the truth being that I need to accept that the drug cartel, the criminal organization that you built is my birthright. That I need to step up and take it as mine. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
He leans up once again, folding his arms over one another, keeping his eyes locked in on mine. The grin fades as he speaks, “That is because you are clinging onto the uncertainty and doubt that has plagued you your entire life, James. You want to be this quiet and simple man. You’re not built that way, son. If you were then you wouldn’t be in the situation you’re in now. You wouldn’t have been in the situation five years ago. You would have that quiet, peaceful life.”
I turn and look at my reflection once more, my hands gripping the steering wheel, “So it’s not in the cards for me?”
“No.” I close my eyes and shake my head, knowing deep down that he is right. That this is all there is for me. That this is something that I need to go ahead and accept. I gulp as if I am truly swallowing that bitter pill of truth. I open my eyes and slowly exhale. When I open my eyes, my father is gone and I sit alone in the car. I stare at the place that is supposed to be my home and I sigh in disgust. I don’t want to go in there. I want to be elsewhere. I turn the car back on, pull out of the driveway, put the car into drive before pressing down on the gas and just drive.
I drive into the darkness which I find funny. I see it as some sort of symbolism. A metaphor for the path my life has chosen to take.
I tell myself that there is no getting off of the trail.
That no other path would make sense. I wouldn’t feel at home anywhere else if I wasn’t accepting the chaos, diving head first into the darkness, becoming one with the abyss.
S H O O T
I am sitting in my car. It is dark out. I am in some sort of empty parking lot with no one or nothing else around me. There is nothing but quiet. I stare the camcorder as I gather my thoughts, finishing up what is left of a joint. I tune myself out from what has been going on in my personal life in terms of the shit with Sanders and everything else. I focus my mind on my wrestling career. I have been having quite a month in the SCW. I have been playing by my rules, wrestling only when I choose to. The SCW powers that be, namely Drachewych, have been trying to keep me chained up like some sort of fucking dog but that just isn’t going to happen no matter how hard they try. They booked me against jobbers. That didn’t go according to plan. They booked me against Simon Lyman and I made him pay for their bullshit. They booked me against another jobber and I more than likely sent him into an early retirement. Oh well, shit happens.
They put me in a match against David Helms and Collin Cole. At first, I wanted no part of it because I would have much rather faced Helms one on one. I really didn’t have any real issue with Cole despite the fact that he ran his mouth and poked his nose into my business. I had a personal vendetta against Helms. I hate him. I despise him. I would love to take his legacy and piss all over it before lighting it on fire so I could watch all that he has done and been praised for, burn and fade into ashes because fuck David Helms and the horse the son of a bitch rode in on. Helms wanted to teach me a lesson. He wanted to teach me the error of my ways. I am not the bad guy in the scenario. That is what the world doesn’t realize. I am not the bad guy. I am standing up for myself. I am rebelling against a system that will not allow me to grow or develop within my chosen profession. I am fighting for everything that I believe in and stand for. There are those who try to oppose me and try to tell me that I am wrong just because I do things differently than they do.
Those are the real villains.
But as I have always said, the people can cheer me. They can boo me. It really doesn’t make a fuck to me. I am going to be me either way, one hundred percent. I am not in this business to be loved. I am not in it to be hated. I am in it to win championships, to make money, and to show the world that I am every bit as good as others just claim to be. If I hurt others along the way then so be it. They should not have been there. They will be victims of my rampage as I fight against the SCW and fight to make the company pay for all the wrongs they have occurred against me. I have goals and I will fight to achieve them no matter the cost.
The whole world is curious as to whether or not I will show up this week against the Youth Movement member, Tim. But I am going to show up just so I can punish Tim for the sins of the SCW. He is nothing more than sacrificial lamb. They may think that they are sending me a message, but it is the other way around. Tim is the mentee of the now former SCW World Tag Team Champion, Donovan Kayl. Donny boy stopped me from inflicting more damage upon Lyman. Kayl needs to know that things of that nature do not sit well with me. Not to mention I want a shot at the tag straps. It’s just too bad Kayl doesn’t hold those titles anymore.
I feel a smirk appear on my face as I tell myself that I will just have to make due with what I have. I lean forward and turn the camcorder on, before leaning back into my seat and beginning to speak.
“I would like to take the time to say that I told you so…I told you but you didn’t believe me. Can you tell me why you didn’t believe me? Why didn’t you believe me when I said that I would walk out of my match at Under Attack as the winner? Is it because you don’t think I am going to show up? Is it because you feel Collin Cole has the heart of a lion and that David Helms is the greatest thing to happen to the wrestling industry since that piece of shit no talent Italian in who was placed on a pedestal in the 60s and 70s? Is it because you think that I am just like all of the other fucks who come in and want respect and they want this and that? Well, let me be clear. Collin Cole has a lot of heart but he is blind when it comes to the way this industry…especially this company…truly is. David Helms is a hell of a wrestler, but he is not as great as the critics, the fans, and those in charge here…Hey Olek…SAY he is. I wanted to show that so that is why I showed up to Under Attack. I wanted to give Helms and the rest of the world a fucking reality check. I robbed David Helms of his victory as he enters the final lap of his race within the professional wrestling industry because he doesn’t fucking deserve it. I deserved it just as I deserve so much more than what I get in this fucking place…”
I pause and take in a deep breath before exhaling, as a smirk appears on my face.
“Just as I told Collin Cole, I am coming for it all. And that was a declarative statement to the SCW and everyone else on the roster. Merrick, keep that Underground title warm for me. Rayvn, it is about time you are actually challenged. Kelcey, you need a male challenging you for the title that you are destroying just by touching it with your filthy little fingers. Hell Red Rayne, Selena Frost the Adrenaline Championship needs a shot of adrenaline that neither one of you twats are giving it. Hey Sisterhood of the Traveling Cunts, I challenge you to a match for the Tag Team Championships. I don’t need a partner like Simon Lyman or Donovan Kayl to beat you two bitches simply because I am a real man.”
“Even after saying all of that, I know that I am getting ahead of myself. I have no doubt in my mind that the bookers and matchmakers in this place will let my words go in one ear and out the other. Once again, this is why I am quite the angry son of a bitch. This is why I don’t show up to events when the matches are a fucking waste of my fucking time. This is the sort of shit you are going to have to deal with Tim if you choose to further your career in the SCW. But then again, seeing how you’re associated with Kayl who is involved with the Streets/Helms family then you may go far. But if that is the case then it won’t be as meaningful because you didn’t earn it through hard work. You earned it based upon name association, which means something else. It means that you will more than likely be afforded more opportunities than those who have been doing this, scratching and crawling, practically sacrificing their bodies for an opportunity only to get nothing. You could be gifted or voted into the main event like David Helms, which would mean that you surpassed me and that is something that I will not allow, Tim. I fucking refuse to.”
“I have been surpassed by so many fucking people that it isn’t even funny. You, as well as your mentor, can say that it is because I’ve left. Well, it isn’t. As I have stated on numerous occasions, I have left because there has been no opportunity for me. If I am not allowed to grow or evolve then fuck it I am out. That is my mentality and that is the way I will always see things. If there is no more room to grow then I am just a duck wading in the water, just sitting there doing absolutely fucking nothing. I would be drowning. I am not one to drown. There is no sink or swim. If you can’t fucking swim then get the hell out of the water. That is something that I will be putting to the test at Breakdown, Tim. It won’t be Donovan. It won’t be Simon. It won’t be any of the other fuckers in this little Youth Movement. It will be me. Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way. I am pissed off. I am sure people say that I am bitter. I am sure people will say that I come off like a little brat. I can admit that I can be bitter. And I can see where people will say that I am come off like a brat. I get that. But you see, others like Kennedy Street act like brats, people like Kelcey Wallace act that way and they are petted. Their little cries are heard and they are given things to shut them the fuck up. All I ask for…is respect and the opportunity. I get neither, so I hurt others to make everyone else pay. And yes, Tim, make no mistake about it…you are going to get hurt.”
“You see, at Breakdown while you and I are scheduled to face off, David Helms that shit stain is competing against the legendary CHBK. CHBK has removed his balls and handed them over to whatever young starlet he has been trying to roofie and decided to be a “good guy” once more. The match between he and David is about respect. There is all of this talk about how it is sad that this match is finally happening. It could have happened last year but CHBK was being quite the twat and he wouldn’t show up. I don’t show up Tim because the SCW books me against people that they don’t even name on the card which means my time and talent would be wasted. If I were booked against Helms, I would have been there. CHBK is a coward because he has never stepped into the ring against me. I have thrown out challenges yet he dunks me like our boss, Oleska Drachewych. Tim, it is frustrating to see David, who lost to me, get a bigger match just because he is retiring. Fuck that. I have more than earned matches against legends such as CHBK…hell, that is really all that is left anymore. It is sad really. All of the legends in this company decided to bail and a lot of it was due to politics, how they were getting pushed further down the card while shits like Reagan Street, Syren, Chris Cannon, so on and so forth were being moved up. Legends were even surpassed Tim for no real reason, despite coming in and still kicking ass and taking names. I have done that and it doesn’t get noticed. A wrestler like Jake Starr has done that and he doesn’t get noticed anymore.”
“We only get noticed when we hurt people, Tim. I am going to have to hurt you, kid. It is personal but not against you. You are just a cog in the machine, a spoke on the wheel. You are a causality of war just as Collin Cole was at Under Attack. It is personal against Mr. D and the SCW. It is personal against those who came in out of nowhere and were competing in the main events and for the top titles despite barely being here for a year. People think that I hurt others simply because I enjoy it. Part of that is true, Tim, but I do it for a reason. I do it while hoping that the SCW powers that be will get it through their thick fucking skulls that I deserve to be respected, that I deserve to be recognized.”
I pause again, taking a few moments to gather my thoughts. I run my hands over my face and through my hair, releasing a sigh before continuing to talk.
“Donovan Kayl can tell you that I can be beaten and yes, Tim I can. You can pull off one hell of an upset. People are already talking about it. But I am going to tell you this man to man. You hit me then you better make it good. You pin my shoulders to the mat then you better get the hell out of dodge. What I did to your mentor’s best friend is nothing compared to what I have in store for you, Tim. The wrestling industry is not all bright lights and bubble gum. Kissing babies and signing autographs will not save you when you face someone like me, someone who is far more dangerous than David Helms could have ever dreamed of being. I am not a Titan. I am not an executioner. I am a man fighting for himself, fighting for his goals and his beliefs. I am a man fighting for what he truly deserves. Tim, you may go far in this business, but it will not be at my expense. Donovan Kayl more than likely took it easy on you during training and while you have shown quite a bit of skill from what I have seen of you, I am not going to take it easy. I am going to give you a training session that you never had the chance to experience. You are going to get a crash course about what it is really like when you are in a match against someone who wants it all. I am not talking about Dylan Howell because that man has been my bitch each and every time we’ve stepped into the ring.”
“I am the real deal, Tim. I am going to treat you like you are CHBK, like you are David Helms. I am going to fight you like you are the World Champion and you have what I want. You may be a rookie. You may be green but you will bleed red before all is said and done. You can admit you’re nervous. I would too if I were in your shoes. It is okay, Tim. You are nothing more than someone who is competing in the wrong ring, at the wrong time, against the wrong guy. There is a chance your career will be short lived but I am not taking responsibility for that. You can take that up with Kayl. You can take that up with Drachewych, but he will more than likely run in fear if you challenge him. Trust me, I know from experience. And experience is what you’re going to get Tim. This is a learning experience for you with the lesson being that you do not need to get in my way, because I will fuck you up to put it bluntly.”
“And Donovan, if you feel the need to come out and help your student. Go for it. I welcome it. He will need all of the moral support he can get. But I want you to watch as I destroy him just as I destroyed your best friend. Just remember, his blood is on YOUR hands. Keep that in mind as well Olek. I am just doing what I’m best at.”
“Maybe then you will all recognize and acknowledge me.”
“We shall see I guess…”
I finish speaking. I smirk at the camera before leaning over and pressing the off button, as the feed slowly fades to black.