“Okay James, go ahead. Keenie is listening,” She flashes a grin while I wince a little bit. She is fucking smoking hot and I can repeat that over and over in my head until the cows come home, but my point will never truly get across, because words cannot truly describe how sexy I find her, how much I want to bend her over a barrel so I can show her the fifty states if you know what I’m saying.

“I wanted to discuss this little relationship of ours. I just want to clarify a few things before things really start to progress…”

“Oh James…Keenie thinks it is way too early to talk about marriage. Besides, Keenie doesn’t know if that’s her thing in the first place…”

I look at her for a few moments, letting that resonate in my mind, before shaking my head and letting out a little chuckle, “That is definitely not on my mind, Kennedy so there’s no reason to bring that up…like ever again.”

She presses her hand to her chest and smiles, before beginning to fan herself as she stares up at the ceiling, slowly shaking her head, “Okay good that is such a relief to Keenie. Okay…(strongly exhales) what were you going to say?”

I feel nothing short of perplexed by how this exchange has gone. I close my eyes, slowly inhale and slowly exhale, before opening my eyes and continuing or should I say beginning, “I just want to clarify a few things like I said. Number one and I want to stress this to the absolute fucking max. I am not now, nor will I ever be a lackey. I am not going to be another Ethan. I am my own man. I march to the beat of my own drum. I am not here to come in second place or play second fiddle. I did that bullshit when I first started in the SCW. I will never and I mean never do that again. I just want to be clear on that…”

I pause for a moment or two, I guess to give her time to soak all of that up. She just sits there, looking straight at me. There is a part of me that thinks she’s listening and then there is the other part of me that thinks she could care less, but I continue, “And I will be brutally honest because I’m a straight shooter. I don’t like to bullshit. I know you’re incredibly attractive. Better yet, you’re totally fucking hot and there are numerous things I’d love to do to you when the time comes, but in saying that, I want to be clear that I am not here to worship you.”

She just looks at me, at first confused but that quickly turns into frustration. I can tell just by looking into her eyes. I go to speak, but she quickly cuts me off, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Her response floors me. I lean back in my seat as if her words knock me against the metal now pressed firmly into my back. I shake my head, "Wait...what? Am I kidding you about what?"

She plants her elbows on the table and stares at me, fiercely, as she states, "First off, the Keenie Nation...Ethan and the rest of them, they are not minions or anything like that. If you want my honest opinion, I will gladly tell you that they are loyal friends who want nothing but the best for me.”

I watch as Kennedy leans back in her chair and turns her head to stare the other way, while shaking her head in the process. I go to reply once again, but before I do, I watch as she grabs the napkins on the table and crumples them up before throwing them back down, glaring at me as her eyes lock with mine. I take in a deep breath, realizing that there is a good chance that I have fucked things up, but there is that small voice telling me that I need to stand my ground, and to not take a backseat to the things I’ve already said. It tells me that back tracking will make me look weak. I let the voice finish its speech before I proceed to give mine.

“Look, I see that I’ve upset you and you have every right to be upset,” There is a part of me that wants to tell her that she really shouldn’t be but I refrain, “But it was not my intention to upset you or piss you off. That is the last thing that I wanted. I just wanted to be clear about where I was coming from. That is all. I didn’t plan on agitating you. But I wanted to be honest from the get go about things.”

Kennedy scoffs and returns her elbows to the table, her eyes zoning in on me like a tiger eyeing its prey, which in a way turns me on, but also worries me, because I don’t truly know this woman but I have seen what she can be capable of when in it comes to stepping into the ring, “Well, I will be honest too. I can understand that you want to be honest and let me know what’s on your mind. I like that. I respect that. But I don’t need you to come in and start marking your territory right off the fucking bat.”

I have to admit that I am blown away. This whole time I have believed Kennedy to be an air-headed hot piece of ass, but here and now, in this moment, I realize that there is much more to her. I can also admit that I more than kind of like it. I go to reply but she cuts me off yet again, “And another thing, since we’re being honest and what not, I am not going to be some whore you can have walk around with, you can parade me off like a piece of arm candy. That’s not me and that’s not what I do.”

After she finishes speaking, we both look away from one another. I am not sure where she looks but I am staring down at the plate resting on the table. I see my reflection and I begin to question as to whether or not I have truly turned cold. I tell myself that there is a heart and there is feeling within me, but I agree that I have become colder as time has gone on. I tell myself that after dealing with Sanders and the rest of the criminal underworld, the world that I was born and bred to become a part of, one must become cold in order to survive.

I have a heart. I have done what I have to do in order to protect my family. I have something up my sleeve in order to regain the empire my father built. It may not be the best line of work, or an empire slash legacy to be proud of, but it belongs in my family. It is my birthright. I then look up and I see Kennedy, still not really looking at me, doing all that she can to avoid eye contact and I begin to ask more questions. How far do I want to go with this? If it goes far, will I be able to keep my life within the underworld a secret? If it goes far, will I be able to protect her and keep her safe?

I tell myself that is where the coldness will come in. I have already taken a man’s life before. He was a friend of mine but in the end, I had to choose between his life and mine. I chose mine. It has changed me forever to say the least. I crossed a line that I will never be able to turn back and go to the other side. There truly is a point of no return. I have seen it and I have gone beyond. I tell myself that I will do whatever I have to protect those that I choose to care for, those I choose to let inside. And I will do it by any means necessary. Just like my father.

I look up at Kennedy and I clear my throat. This draws her attention. She looks at me and I crack a smile, “Look, I want to apologize again. Okay, so I am sorry. I truly am. I don’t take back what I said, but I do want to say this. As long as you keep me around, I will support you in any way that I can. Just as long as you do the same for me. That is all I ask.”

She smirks, “Well, I don’t take back what I said either. But if you have my back then I will have yours.”

I nod my head, “Sounds like a plan. You want the World title just as I do. I would like to earn it and be known as the SCW World Champion at least once in my career.”

“And I’d like to hold it again…”

I smirk this time, “Then I don’t see why we can’t help one another while getting to know one another. We can see how things go on both fronts.”

Her smile returns and I see one reason why I am drawn to her, “I’d like that very much.”

I reach over and pour some wine into our glasses that haven’t been touched since I made it an awkward scene with my bluntness. Our eyes are locked while I pour. I then lift my glass and she lifts hers. I smirk once more before I say, “Cheers to the present and the future…”

“Cheers,” she purrs before our glasses clink together.

We take a sip or two of our wine and then I look at her, “Shall we order?”

“Let’s…”

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[ R-I-G-H-T-I-N-G W-R-O-N-G-S ]

The end of the year is upon us ladies and gentlemen, and wrestling fans alike. When you’re a wrestling fan or even when you’re not, we as human beings typically begin to reflect on our lives and how things went down over the year we are more than likely way too ready to put behind us. We think about all of the good things we’ve done as well as all of the bad things we’ve done. We think about the things we wish we would have done more of or the things we wished we had done way differently. Well, James Evans is no different in that aspect.

James Evans left the SCW back in November of last year, right after losing the Underground title. You all have heard the stories of him being pissed off, agitated, and every other word that has the same meaning as angry. But then he was offered a chance to compete in the SCW’s first ever Best of the Best tournament. James jumped at the chance, because James has an idea in his mind. It was more than just an idea however. It was a mission.

He wanted to embarrass the SCW, especially its owner, Oleska Drachewych.

James did not succeed in doing so, as he was disqualified in the first round. That is something James wishes he could have done differently. He spent more time cheating Gable Winchester, instead of putting the Man of Win away like he said that he would. James tried to gain entry back in the SCW but he was denied at every turn until he competed in the Taking Hold of the Flame battle royal. Once again, James tried and failed. He even failed on the biggest stage of them all, getting pinned by Tommy Valentine at Rise to Greatness, earning himself yet another loss at the big event. The failure seemed like it piled up against James.

James wanted to turn things around. He wanted to do things differently.

But then something happened. James still wanted to embarrass the SCW, especially Drachewych. He knew however, that he needed to learn when to shut up and fight. He would talk the talk, but it was time to walk the walk, to make those words have meaning and to make them count, just like every punch or move needed to count. He rebounded, defeating Tommy Valentine and nearly winning the World title in the process all in the same night of the SCW pay per view, Apocalypse. James started playing games with Drachewych, not showing up for matches he deemed pointless and succeeding the in the matches James felt meant something.

James picked up a win over Collin Cole and David Helms when no one thought he would. James enjoyed that victory more than anything else. It was beyond satisfying. James picked up some wins leading up to the tag title match he found himself in at Final Level. He teamed with Jake Starr but they didn’t get the win. James wasn’t upset with the loss, as he had his eyes on bigger things.

Shot of Adrenaline tournament, as well as the chance to become number one contender to the one prize he wants more than anything else.

The SCW World Championship…

James has overcome Felicity Lansing as well as the legendary CHBK in the Shot of Adrenaline tournament to have one of the best standings thus far, but James’ appetite is not being fulfilled. He found himself feeling a certain type of way after each match.

He was hungry.

He wasn’t looking for food. He wanted his victories to keep him motivated. He had been booked for a match against Shilo Valiant, but for some reason the match was cancelled and James knows it wasn’t his doing. Shilo has never been able to get a win over James, so in James’ mind, the Necro Merchant ran for the hills. James was looking forward to testing his mettle against Valiant once more to see if he could still prove to be a thorn in the man’s side. The cancellation left a void within James.

He defeated the legend soundly and cleanly in the center of the ring. He spit on the fallen Heartbreaker after all was said and done, not only as a sign of disrespect but to let CHBK know that James felt slighted. James felt like he had been robbed because the CHBK he had faced was not the same CHBK who had pushed others beyond their means despite his age. James didn’t feel pushed. James wanted that feeling, but it did not come at Supreme Saturday.

James beat Lansing, but once again he felt empty.

James wanted a challenge and he did not want to wait forever to receive one, which is why he has found himself eyeballing the End of the Year battle royal. It is a match he has never cared for or tried to enter. It just never really appealed to him, but this year it is different. James is far hungrier than he has ever been in his career. He wasn’t hungry when he returned. He was just snacking here and there, not really caring.

But James has his eyes on the prize. He has the chance to become the Adrenaline Champion. He has the chance to become number one contender and to become the World Champion for the first time in his career. James has not and will not forget those facts.

But James cannot wait until the SCW decides to book him. James loses interest quick in things if he is not constantly doing something. If he is not competing, he takes his eyes off of the prize. James doesn’t want that. He cannot have that and that is why he is entering the battle royal. He wants to be tested. He wants to be challenged. James isn’t in it for the money because he has more than enough. James isn’t in it for the vehicle the SCW has promised the winner, because he can go out and buy three on his own. He is in it to stay motivated, to constantly stay on his game or find a reason to up it.

James started the year off, doing nothing and then he was just a weak link in the chain when he came back. James wants to make up for that as the year winds down. He wants to enter the ring and compete against anyone and everyone. He wants to fight like the champion he has focused on becoming very soon. James isn’t stepping into the ring to right any wrongs he may have caused the SCW, as he feels he owes the company nothing. But he is stepping into the ring to right the wrongs he feels he has made against himself. He knows he could have done so many different things better be it in his return match or the fatal four way at Rise to Greatness.

James knows that there will be plenty of people who will enter the battle royal looking to stake their claim, or to prove a point. James is going to do the same, but he will piss all over their hopes and dreams in the process of claiming victory and letting the world know what he is capable of doing once he is motivated, when he is pushing himself beyond his own means, righting wrongs while remaining at his very best.

__________________________________

Saturday December 5th, 2015 is a day that I will remember for quite some time. I was able to step into the ring against CHBK and I defeated him. And while it was a good match and I got the win, I can’t help but feel like it was underwhelming. I felt bored right after the match. I tell myself that I need and deserve more as I loosen the Velcro strap on my shootfighting gloves before tossing them down on the floor. I let out a sigh before looking over and seeing my friend Daniel sitting across from me, his eyes and fingers glued to his fucking phone.

He has recently discovered Tinder and he has yet to stop. I am pretty sure he loses sleep, “Good to see you too, Daniel. What brings you here?”

Without looking up he replies, “I figured you’d want to hear about my conversation with Sanders in person and besides, I didn’t want to miss you taking on my old wrestling hero, CHBK.”

“Oh you liked that did you?”

He nods, eyes still on his phone, fingers sliding left or right, “Yeah I did. You know that CHBK was always my favorite. I used to want to be him until I realized that being fat and lazy was even better. But then again, he has gotten some nice ass here in the last few years. The man truly is an idol. Did you really have to spit on him?”

I fire back, “Oh absolutely. While you may see him as an idol and a national fucking treasure despite the fact that you’re not Canadian, I see him as less. He used to be something so much more but he has let himself go. He was able to give me a fight, but not the fight that I felt that I would get. The poor bastard needs to hang it up. I know he won’t allow someone else to put him out of his misery. I can respect the fact that he will more than likely die in the ring, but if he can’t truly give it his all, he needs to let it go and call it a career.”

Daniel doesn’t reply. He snickers, which annoys me and he lets out a sigh before returning his focus back to his phone. I run my hands over my face and through my hair before leaning forward and redirecting him, “So what did Sanders say? Please tell me we’ve set a date and time.”

His fingers stop moving and his eyes stop darting from side to side. He looks up at me as he places his phone at his side, “He said he didn’t want to deal with me. He said that he wanted to talk directly to Mammon himself. I said that would not be possible.”

“And what did he say to that? Knowing him, I am sure he gave you a bunch of lip.”

Daniel nods, “You would be correct on that front. He said that if we wanted to grow as a business and form a partnership then we would meet his terms or at least make some sort of compromise. And then I said, figuring you’d say the same thing, that I would have my employer contact him.”

I scoff, “You did the right thing, Daniel. I have no issue in contacting him and setting this up. If he wants to talk to Mammon then we can deliver on that. I am ready to finish this thing.”

“When were you thinking about setting up the meeting?”

“Christmas. I want to end this thing and put it behind me before the New Year starts. I am sick of dealing with it and having to worry about it. Sanders is like a fucking tick, just sucking the life out of me and I am beyond annoyed with it. It is time to move on.”

Daniel nods his head once more, “We’ve been at this for quite a while but I am going to ask, just as I always do, but don’t you think that’s rushing things a little bit?”

I look at Daniel and peer into his eyes, as I respond, “Not at all, just as I have said before. Sanders is going to pay for everything he has done against my family and I will make sure regrets every single second he has lived off of my family’s name, my father’s empire…and then I will put a bullet in between his fucking eyes.”

“You sound really cold when you say that. I know when we started this, you just wanted to take back the empire. You never said anything about taking the man’s life. I have to ask, James…what changed?”

I feel a smirk spread over my face, a smirk that would make Kennedy proud, “I have wanted to end his life since this whole thing started. I was unsure if I was going to do it or not at the beginning, but now that time has gone, I have grown surer and it is something that needs to happen. It should have been done a long time ago.”

Daniel readjusts himself in his seat, looking a tad bit uneasy, “Why is it something that needs to happen? Can’t we just rat him out and run him out of business? To me, that would be the smartest and easiest play.”

My smirk remains as I shake my head and stand up from my seat next to my locker, “The smartest play would be to end his life. That in of itself would send a shockwave through the rest of the underworld, letting them know that Mammon is the real deal. Sanders may be considered small to some, but he is big enough that it would make a statement. The easiest thing would be to turn him over but then it would be even easier for him to be able to get off the hook. I refuse to allow that to happen, Daniel. There is no other way.”

Daniel looks down, breaking eye contact. He lets out a sigh. I can tell after knowing him for quite some time that he truly is uneasy about this whole thing. But to me, it doesn’t matter. The shit between Sanders and I is beyond personal. It is something that needs to be settled and brought to an end. It is weighing on me and I am tired of dragging it around. I have no doubt that the authorities…Briggs…Kyle will come after me at some point. When and if that happens, I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but I am not going to stray from what I am going to do to Sanders.

“Well, I will be sure to let him know once I return home.”

I watch as Daniel gets up from his seat and heads towards the door to my locker room. I had given him a lifetime backstage pass just in case of emergency, but after this visit, I feel more than agitated. I hate being questioned especially when what I am doing is personal and means a lot to me. We lock eyes as he passes and I say, “Be sure to let me know when everything is set in stone. Make sure the conversation doesn’t end until everything is fucking settled. Are we clear?”

Daniel doesn’t say anything. He just nods before making his exit. After he is gone, I enter the bathroom and shower area of the locker room. I fixate on my reflection in the mirror. I see the coldness in my eyes. Ever since my conversation with Kennedy at the restaurant, it has been lurking around more and more. The coldness stands on one side of my shoulder, while my heart stands on the other. My head is the bridge between good and evil, with the bridge leaning more towards the coldness, swaying slowly back and forth in the realm of the evil that resides in my soul. My soul is up for grabs, along with my humanity. It is a war that has gone on for the better part of my life. As a man, I know that it will continue on until the day that I die. I will always be light and I will always harbor darkness. One side will win more than the other. I tell myself, as I stand looking at myself in the mirror, that the only thing that I can do is just sit back, enjoy the ride, and welcome whatever may come.