June 30th, 2016

Houston, Texas…1AM

She does look beautiful. Very beautiful. I can see why James was drawn to her months ago and why he wanted to get close to her. Hell, I can even see why Abel is so hard up for her, but then again that is why I am here, following her. Abel’s idea of being close to her will end in violence and death. She is much too pretty to deserve such a thing. As Abel does at night while James believes he is sleeping, I am using James’ body as a vessel, as a means to watch over and observe her.

I am here to protect Amy Chastaine.

Abel’s bloodlust seems to be growing more and more, especially given the fact that he has gone out at night and started to attack and hurt innocent people. I fear that he is going to cause James to go over the line. I fear that sooner or later that James will get caught and not have any idea what is going on. With Abel around, James is losing all control and that scares me more than anything. I believe it scares him because he doesn’t know which way to go.

It’s hard not to admire Amy. She is gorgeous and her body is amazing. She has curves as well as muscle tone. Her smile is as captivating as her eyes. I wouldn’t want Abel to take over and ruin any of that because I know what he is capable of. If he gets control of James then so many lives will be ruined. He wants to come out now. I can feel it. He is chomping at the bit to run up and grab Amy and force her into her room before having his way with her. If that happens then she will leave behind her children and others who love her.

Maybe even that David Miller guy…

I have been following her from the arena where the SCW had a show tonight. James fell asleep in the locker room and with the urges of Abel, I knew I had to step in. She takes a stroll into the night and it is a nice night, but I don’t get to enjoy it very much as I am trying to keep a good, safe distance away from her, remaining in the shadows, making sure I am invisible every time she looks behind her to validate her safety. I know that Abel scared the shit out of her not too long ago and when he controls James, using social media as a way to prey upon people, Amy has been a target. Abel is jealous of David Miller and wants to annihilate him. Unless he can get to her before he ever comes face to face with Miller.

Her pace picks up here and there. I guess there is that feeling of uncertainty. I am sure Abel used James to rattle her cage. She is a strong woman however from what I’ve seen. I admire Amy, not only for her beauty but for her strong will. She seems to have been through a lot and overcome it all. I could only hope that I would have been like her if I were to have lived longer.

Oh crap!

I dart to the side of her hotel, slowly peering around the corner to watch her. She has stopped in front of the building and she is looking around, rubbing her arms up and down. A look of concern on her face. I hate that I have made her feel fear. It wasn’t my intention to make her afraid. I wish I could tell her personally that I wanted to make her safe.

She steps inside of the hotel and I take off towards the entrance as well. Once inside, I hide next to some terrible smelling decoration plants, looking at her through the leaves, probably looking like an idiot as well. Amy begins to walk upstairs and I can hear Abel yelling, saying that I need to let him take over, that I need to give him control. I head upstairs behind her as Abel continues. He calls me a bitch and a cunt. Saying that this is his moment and I am ruining it. That I need to stop being such a cock block and then… ”James…?”

I blink and look around, wondering where the hell I am for a few moments. I blink a few times before realizing that Amy Chastaine is in front of me. I am not in my locker room anymore. I am not even at the right hotel. She looks at me, none too pleased to see me, as she says, “James?!”

I snap to, “Yeah, hey Amy…”

Abel says, “Let’s play, James. Give into me. Let me take over. Just for a little bit. It’ll be so much fun. You don’t even realize how much. I will gladly show you.”

Amy replies, “What are you doing here? Did you follow me?!”

I look around again, trying to buy myself some time because I really have no fucking clue as to why I am here, in her hotel, standing outside of her room. I figure it is her room because I can see her hand is on the door knob, the door slightly open. I meet her gaze, “What am I doing here? Well, this is kind of awkward, right?” I say, with a laugh and a smile, trying to ease the situation.

Her response lets me know that I am not easing a fucking thing, “It's a little more than awkward. Especially after the last time you found me after a show. Have you forgotten, or are you just choosing to ignore what happened?”

I lower my gaze from hers and shake my head. I then look back up and release a sigh, “That is actually why I am here, Amy. I wanted to apologize for my behavior. Not only at the bar but on Twitter and all of that nonsense. I really respect you…”

Abel tries to talk over me, “You lying fuck. Don’t tell her that bullshit unless you’re trying to get into her room.”

I continue, “And I know that I have upset you. You don’t deserve that. At all. Especially from me when I have said that I’m your friend and that I care about you,” I look over at her hand. It has not moved from the knob. I then look back at her, “You don’t have to be afraid of me…”

I hear Abel laugh as Amy responds, keeping her eyes locked in on me, hand firmly gripped on the room door. “I find that hard to believe. From what I've seen recently, there's no telling what you'll do next. Interfering in matches, threatening everyone, including me! Following me here... ” Amy seems to shrink a few inches closer to the door.

Abel chimes in, “Oh she should be afraid of you, James. She should be very afraid. We can push her into that room and have our way with her. Just think about. Holding her down against her will. Forcing ourselves inside of her. She will hate it at first but in the end she will love it. We can fuck her in the ass too. We are much stronger than she is. She wouldn’t be able to stop us until we got ours. And afterwards, we can let our little knife play around. We can get surgical with this bitch, James. Dance around in her blood…”

Kismet shouts, “SHUT UP ABEL!!! Don’t listen to him, James. Ignore that. She has never wronged you, James. You know that and I know that you do. She has always tried to be a friend to you. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”

I close my eyes for a moment, trying my best to tune out the voices. I open my eyes and look back at Amy, “I understand, Amy. I truly do. I don’t know what I am capable of if we are just being honest. I hope that you do believe me when I say that I would never do anything to hurt you. I want nothing more than to keep you safe. That is why I’m worried about you being with Miller. He has a past…”

Amy cuts me off, “We all have a past, James. It's really no one else's business but mine and David's. I wish people would just shut the fuck up and let me live my life.”

I go to respond but Abel is screaming in my head, “You fucking bitch. You little FUCKING BITCH!!! LET ME OUT JAMES! LET ME OUT! She will not talk to us like that. Let me out and I will show her that not even David Miller…not even the would-be Assassin can protect her. She should feel blessed with these last few moments of her life…”I close my eyes again and draw in a deep breath, wishing that I could shut Abel the fuck up, but he begs, “James I am begging you…” He pleads, “Pretty please James, with sugar and a cherry on top. We will have so much fun…More fun that you could possibly imagine…”

Kismet quickly steps in, “Ignore him, James. You are doing the right thing by staying calm. Just stay relaxed and calm. That is all you need to do. Don’t listen to Abel. You and I know that you care about Amy. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. I know that you feel that way deep down, no matter what Abel tries to say.”

Ah, Kismet, my guardian Angel, my voice of reason…

“What is the matter with you?” I hear Amy call to me.

I open my eyes and look down at my hands. They are shaking. I feel my muscles tense. I know that this means I am fighting the urges Abel is trying to put in my head. The urge to reach up and wrap my hands around Amy’s throat. The urge to slam her head against the door repeatedly before knocking her unconscious. I draw in a deep breath, trying to remember Kismet’s words, trying to calm myself, doing my best to fight Abel off, as he says, “Stop fighting me, James. Please stop fighting me. You’re slowly killing yourself by doing so,” I shake my head and then he responds to my resistance, “STOP FUCKING FIGHTING ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!”

I squeeze my hands into fists, “I’m fine, Amy. Really I am. I didn’t come here to alarm you. I wanted to apologize and I’ve done that. I think I should go…I need to go…”

She looks at me concerned, “What exactly does that mean?”

I look away and stare towards the stairwell, eyeing the exit that I need to take but then I feel my body move forward, taking a step towards Amy. I look at her as she grips the knob of the ajar door harder, knuckles white. I love seeing this all of a sudden. I am feeding off of her fear but then I hear Kismet’s voice return, “James…James…JAMES!!!”

I stop and I see that I am extremely close to Amy. I let out a small gasp before taking a step back, my body relaxing. My eyes dart towards the stairs once, “I need to go, Amy. I’m afraid that if I don’t go…if I stay then something terrible may happen. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

Her eyes form a glare, and her hand starts to push on the door. She seems to be debating opening it, maybe afraid I might follow her inside. "That's rich, considering you were the one threatening me last week. And now you go from apologizing to threatening me again? Who the fuck do you think you are? You can take your fucking apology and shove it up your ass!"

Abel pleads again, “Let me out, James…Come on…please, please, please…”

I shake my head, “I’m sorry, Amy. I’m not trying to threaten you. I am just trying to protect you. I’m going to go…” I walk away and head towards the stairs, but I stop and speak to her without making eye contact, “Please don’t think I’m crazy…please don’t…because I’m not,” After that I say nothing else. I walk downstairs and out into the night.

Along the way, I hear Abel, “I cannot fucking believe you, James. How could you make us look so weak? I want to have fun. I want to play and you keep denying me…You deny yourself…”

I reply, “You want to hurt her, Abel. I don’t want that.”

He responds, coldly, “Yes you do,” I listen to him, a part of me knowing that he’s right, “You want to fuck her blind and then you want to hear her scream in agony. Just like you want to do with the rest of the world. You can. I can help you. You just have to stop denying me.”

I let out a sigh, “Abel, I will do anything you want…” My voice breaks for a few moments, “But…but I won’t do that. I won’t hurt her…You want to hurt Ace? That is fine. I am absolutely fucking game. You have any bright ideas for that then I am all ears…”

There is a moment of silence between Abel and I, but I hear Kismet say, “I wish you would have never said…”

Abel cuts her off, “Oh James…I told you we needed to go after his heart.”

Hearing that brings a smile to my face, as I respond, “I think I have an idea…Hmmm…”

Abel and I share a laugh before I hear him say, “I love what…you…are…thinking…”



The term “memory” is defined as the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information, or something remembered from the past; a recollection. We all carry around a lot of memories. Some of those memories are of the good times in our lives, times that we love to relive over and over and over again in our minds. They make us feel warm inside. They bring smiles to our faces. But then there are those memories we wish to repress, that we wish to bury deep within the darkest corners of our minds, hoping to never have to relive them again.

I am a little different when it comes to bad memories. I barely remember good times in my life. Whatever happiness I have experienced…it’s been outweighed by a lot of the darkness in my life. The darkness I seem to cling to and vice versa. So how am I different? I ask myself this question from time to time and I’ve learned that I like to handle my memories a bit differently. I don’t bury the memories of the bad times. I just set them aside until I need to use them again. I have a lot of memories of my times in the Chosen, mainly memories of my time around Ace Marshall, my opponent at Rise to Greatness, as well as the mother of my children, Katelyn Buehler. Now I am sure the world would think that I had good times with Ace Marshall, seeing how we lived together at one point and we traveled the road together. I would like to think that was actually possible at one point, but the longer I’ve thought about, the more I realize how badly I’ve wanted to flat out maim the bastard.

And one would think that I’d have nothing but fond memories of my time with Katelyn Buehler. She is one of the most attractive women not only in the wrestling industry, but on this planet period. She has a killer body and I’d be lying if I told people that it’s not hard to get lost in those eyes on hers. When she came out to the ring during my first few matches and pranced around the ring, showing off her figure, I was mesmerized to say the least. When our lips would touch, it was like fireworks. When we fucked, our bodies intertwined, it was so hot to plainly put it. So hot that it felt like we could burn down the rest of the world around us. But no matter how good things felt with her physically and even emotionally sometimes, nothing would ever be able to mask the truth. My Chosen stablemate, Ace, figured me to be an idiot. It was either that or he just didn’t give a damn about me or how I felt, or what I thought. Either way, it shows why I have nothing but animosity towards the Champion…

…Why I would to pull a Vlad the Impaler on him, driving a spear or stake right through his fucking abdomen. I would then sit back and watch him suffer, as his body slid down the pole. I would enjoy watching him in pain, begging for mercy…

It was November 2010 I do believe where I found myself at a pancake house with Katelyn and Ace. Katelyn and I were in the middle of a relationship I guess you could say. Ace was there and the two of us were bickering as usual. I felt I was going to be a big deal in the SCW, mainly because unlike the rest of the group, I was constantly getting better as well as winning most of my matches. Ace didn’t like that. Katelyn and I were fondling one another like we did a lot of the time back in those days. Katelyn had to go to the bathroom. Ace said he had to do the same. Now most men would have thought nothing of it. But I knew Ace. I could read him like a fucking book back then just as I can now.

The lying weasel…

The goddamn snake…

They weren’t gone long but long enough for me to sneak towards the bathroom to hear the unsnapping of buttons and unzipping of pants followed by a deep gasp for air. Remembering the low moaning sounds wanted me to break into the bathroom and castrate Ace Marshall and drive my boot heel into Katelyn’s ever working jaw. But I didn’t. I returned to my seat, pretending nothing happened. I went on, business as usual.

I looked at him, knowing then as I know now that he is a liar.

He doesn’t care about anyone other than himself. The people all cheer him. People in the locker room respect him even though he doesn’t give two shits about anyone of them. Katelyn still praises him, worshipping the very ground that he walks on, because he is Ace…fucking…Marshall.


Hours Later…

Houston, Texas

“May I help you?”

The man I’ve met once in my life known to me as Sean Marshall, Ace’s estranged brother, stares at me as I stand on his front deck, looking at me confused. I am not even sure if he and I were properly introduced when Ace and I crashed his wedding to Ace’s ex, Sandra during our Chosen days. I smile, “You probably don’t recognize me, but we’ve met before.”

Abel whispers, gleefully, “This is going to work out so perfectly.”

Sean remains confused, looking a little uneasy and slightly stand offish, “No, I don’t believe we have. Why don’t you enlighten me?”

I lie, “I’m a friend of your brother’s.”

“Which one?”

I say it, feeling sickness beginning to build in my stomach, “Ace Marshall…I met you at your wedding a few years ago. I came with Ace.”

I see fire in his eyes as Sean steps outside before proceeding to shove me a few times, causing me to fall off the deck. I land on my back, but it doesn’t take long before Sean is standing over me, “You son of a bitch! You came with him and ruined my day! I should fucking kill you…” I spring to my feet as he continues to charge towards me but he stops when the front door bursts open once again.

It’s Sandra, worry on her face as she races to the front yard, “What the hell is going on, Sean? Who is…Wait a minute… I know you. You’re that asshole friend of Ace’s.”

I let out a sigh and nod my head, “Unfortunately, yes.”

Sandra asks, “What do you want? Why are you here?”

I smirk and shake my head, “I know that you guys remember me. I came here to apologize. We just had a wrestling show last night…”

Sandra shakes her head, “Of course you did. Ace didn’t even bother to call or make an effort to see his son…”

Sean replies, “Please tell me you’re not surprised. He signed his rights over and left it at that. He’s every bit of the piece of shit we’ve all known him to be,” Sean turns from his wife then looks at me, “And I am sure you’re no better especially given the fact that you’re friends with that asshole.”

Abel chuckles, “Jesus nobody likes him do they? That is hilarious. I bet his son hates him too. If he does then that makes this that much more fun. Keep up the good work, James.”

I say, “I understand where you get that. I am going to be honest. Ace and I aren’t really friends. He and I have been clashing for quite a while now. I crashed your wedding while he and I were friends. I ruined your day. Being around him now, having him involved in my life…it has made me realize how much of an asshole I was back then. How much of an asshole I was towards you guys. I feel like I disrespected your son, Sandra. That is why I am here. To apologize and show you guys the proper respect.”

Sean shakes his head, “So let me get this straight. You took a gigantic shit all over our wedding day and now…over five years later you want to come and apologize because you and Ace aren’t getting along? Sounds like a load of bullshit to me. Just like Ace…”

Abel speaks, “Oh fuck him. Let’s kill that asshole…”

I tell Abel to stop. I let out a deep breath then force a smile, because I do want to kick Sean’s teeth down his fucking throat for having the audacity to compare me to that piece of shit but I don’t. Abel tells me that Sean should count his fucking blessings as I say, “I do deserve that, Sean. Hell, I deserve a lot worse but I am here now. I want to make amends with you, with your wife and with your son.”

Sandra steps forward, “And what makes you think you have any connection with our son? I know what sort of shit Ace used to have my child do. He is lucky I didn’t have social services involved. He is lucky I didn’t have his sorry ass thrown in fucking prison.”

I nod and put my hands up in surrender, “Ace Marshall deserves a lot of things. He deserves to be punished for all of the bad things he’s done to people. I stand by the both of you in that regard, “I let out another sigh, hoping that my performance as a caring person is Oscar worthy, “In regards to your son…he and I have never met, but we have something in common.”

Sean calls out, “Oh and what’s that?”

I look at Sean, ripping him apart with my eyes before turning to Sandra, “I know what it’s like to grow up while having a father that’s around but really isn’t. I feel like I owe it to him for some reason to know that life isn’t fucked up and what Ace did to him…I want him to know that it’s not his fault.”

Sean goes to speak but Sandra cuts him off, putting her hand on his chest as she steps forward once more, “I’ve told him that for years so that’s not necessary. Besides he doesn’t know you.”

I nod again, “I understand that but think about it…sure he loves hearing that sort of stuff from his mother, but you’re supposed to tell him those kinds of things. I’m a father too and I know that you want to protect your children. Lord knows that I do. But sometimes it is good to hear kind words from a complete stranger, someone who has been where you’ve been.”

Sean steps up, “Seriously, who in the hell do you think you are? Coming here out of nowhere, telling us what is best for our son…Ace has been through a lot. He doesn’t need someone else to spout off some more BS. He’s a good kid. He doesn’t…”

Sandra once again places her hand on his chest, easing Sean down a bit. I almost feel sorry for them but I am not here to feel sorry for the family Ace pissed away. I am here to send a message to my opponent. The man who thinks he is the reason I hate life. Sandra is now standing just a few inches from me, our eyes locked as she says, “He’s right, Sean. Sometimes it is good to hear from someone who has been through similar situations, She then turns her words towards me, “I will let you speak to my son but I swear to God if you cause him anymore pain then I will fucking castrate you and leave you to bleed out in the front yard. Are we clear?”

Abel whispers, “You are in. You are so fucking in. Good this is glorious…You are fucking brilliant. Fucking beautiful, James…Simply beautiful…

I smile as I reply, “Crystal…”


It is like Katelyn ignores the fact that he used her for sex. He even went as far as calling her pussy. It was a day or two before Valentine’s Day of 2011. Ace was pissing and moaning about losing the opportunity to possibly compete for the SCW World title to Simon Kalis, someone who was much more worthy. I went to go check on Ace but saw him come out of his room and I saw how much of a mess he was. At that point, I wanted to be a good friend but I also wanted to maintain my so called “tough guy” image. I left and went downstairs to the hotel bar, only to see Katelyn show up shortly after. I watched her go upstairs, knowing full and well where she was going.

I downed my drink then followed. I remember seeing them from around the corner. Ace called her Pussy and not Katelyn. They exchanged words before Ace pulled her inside. I stood there, frozen while the anger began to swell inside of my body. Once again, I wanted to kick the door in and break Ace’s fucking neck. I wanted to slap Katelyn for once again betraying me. But I did nothing but listen. Ace wanted to be called Daddy. Katelyn shouted “Oh God”, like she did with me except I didn’t get mad about it. Ace said she was shouting Chad. Ace then insulted Katelyn, calling her a tool before sending her on her way.

It was by that point that I broke it off with Katelyn. I couldn’t stand it any fucking more. I was sick of the betrayal and the back stabbing. I just put on my cocky smirk and dealt with it, because shortly after I dumped the answer to Kelcey’s Perfect Challenge, I received a visit from Ace. He said he felt robbed because Chad and Katelyn were getting a shot at the Tag straps. He did nothing but call Katelyn a whore and a slut. I wanted to drive a knife into Ace’s abdomen for insulting her as well as lying to my fucking face.

Ace wanted to be the Alpha Male then just as he does now. Yet he didn’t have the stones to tell me to my face that he had banging my so called girlfriend behind my back. Just as Katelyn couldn’t be honest with me. All she could do was tell me that she loved me and offer her body to me. I used to tell Katelyn I wanted something more with her but I could only take so much bullshit.

I didn’t want to be called Daddy.

I didn’t want to be her Lord, Savior, or even her Master.

I just wanted to be hers and I wanted her to be mine.

I wasn’t always the best at showing it. I knew it then and I know it now, but Katelyn…we saw through our own brands of bullshit. I did love her. She opened up to me at a place that no one else knows about. A secret…a memory…she buried both mentally and physically, because she felt like a failure.

A failure…something she has made me feel like when it comes to our children. Something Ace has made me feel like when it comes to my daughters. Which I find incredibly humorous now that I think about it. Ace Marshall…better than me as a father. I am fairly certain that is what Little Miss Carter said, but it didn’t bother me because she’s a dumb bitch who doesn’t know a thing. But I do. I know the truth.

And as they say…the truth shall set you free…

Ace may be good with my daughters. They love him. They call him Uncle Ace. They want him around all of the time. Even Katelyn loves having them around Ace. She loves him too, despite the fact that good ol’ Uncle Ace used to humiliate her and call her a slut. Despite the fact that he used her for sex and saw her as nothing more than an object. Katelyn shouldn’t feel bad however, Ace felt the same way about his baby mama as well as his own son.

Ace tried to get his son to sell drugs. He even tried to get Katelyn to sleep with his son because his son was enrolled in a dance class. The whole idea made Ace sick. It’s funny the things you pick up during a conversation with a drunken Ace Marshall. I am sure he has plenty of stories to tell as well, but nothing along the lines of his. But I can see why the world, namely Katelyn, the SCW locker room and its fan base love Ace.

He’s good now. He’s had his redemption song. Ace has overcome obstacles, the trials and tribulations. But he has never tried to be a real father to his son. I have done my best to be there for my children, despite the obstacles of Katelyn keeping them from me for over a year, despite the fact that she hid that she was pregnant from me in the first place. But these are all people you should cheer for, right? Go ahead and cheer Ace up like he is Rocky Balboa. You all need a good hero. A feel good story, because you are all so afraid to see the world for the cruel, dark place that it truly is.

Ace will come clean about all of this and he will crack his jokes, because everything is nothing more than a big joke to him, unless it benefits Ace in someway.


July 1st, 2016

New York City, New York

“So how have you been feeling, James? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you. How is everything? Everything alright?” Dr. Vaughn asks, as he sitting behind his desk, staring at me from behind his lowered glasses.

I am sitting up on his couch, rubbing my hands across the cushions, as I crack a grin, “You don’t want me to answer that question, Doc. Trust me.”

Vaughn replies, “But I do, James. We were supposed to be meeting once a week. It’s been nearly two weeks or so since I’ve seen you. I need to know if your condition has changed at all.”

“Alright, Doc. I feel like a war is going on inside of my head,” I say, immediately wishing I hadn’t, as I continue to nervously rub my hands over the couch cushions. I hate being here. I wish I would have never come here. I should have listened to Kismet all that time ago.

Vaughn jots some notes really quick, “A war inside of your head? Tell me about that if you don’t mind.”

“Before I do,” I begin, “I’d like to ask you a question.”

Vaughn lifts his eyebrows up and down, “Sure. Go right ahead.”

“Did you talk to your colleagues about me…Did you tell them about my…condition?” I ask the question. Hearing the words makes me feel completely and utterly powerless. A part of me wishes Abel was here to talk for me. He is my stronger side.

Vaughn nods, “Yes I did. They want me to conduct a few more sessions with you. I was thinking of trying the hypnotizing method. That gave me some good insight, James. I feel like if we try it again then we would be able to make a breakthrough or two. What do you think?”

Abel says, “Tell him to go fuck himself. There is nothing wrong with you. Why are you even here?”

I sigh, “I don’t know, Doc. You seemed a little spooked the last time we did that. Makes me wonder if there is something seriously wrong with me. If there is, I would like to know. Maybe it’s something that I can get fixed or maybe it isn’t. Either way. I’d like to know.”

Vaughn frowns, “I wouldn’t say that I was spooked. I just haven’t had as much practice when it comes to working with someone such as yourself.”

He looks like he is about to say something else, but I cut Vaughn off, “Do you question my sanity, Doc?”

Vaughn shakes his head, “No, James. I am questioning you. I want to know where your mind is. I question that and how I can help you. Those are the most important things.”

I reply, “So what is it that you wanted to know?”

Vaughn leans forward in his chair, propping his notepad up on his knee as he crosses his legs, “You said that you feel like there is a war going on inside of your head. I asked what you meant by that.”

I shrug my shoulders, “Well, I have the voices of course. It seems that they are always fighting. One is telling me to do this and the other is saying to do that. One is trying to keep me at bay, while the other one is trying to get me to do things that I wouldn’t normally do. Like hurt people. And yeah I do it in wrestling, because that’s my job. But it wants me to hurt people in the streets.”

Vaughn looks at me, “And outside of your chosen profession, have you hurt anyone?”

I immediately think about the nightmare I thought I had. The moments of Déjà vu that revealed my nightmare to be a reality. I hear Abel in the background. I see him walking around Vaughn, keeping his eyes locked in on me as he says, “Are you fucking serious, James? Is this what we’ve come to? You come to this guy so you can repent for the sins you love to commit. You’ve got to be kidding me. We so much better than this. You are SO MUCH better than this.”

Vaughn speaks, “James? Are you with me?”

I blink a few times, “I’m sorry. What was the question again?”

Vaughn repeats, “Outside of your profession, have you hurt anyone?”

I shake my head no, “No. Definitely not,” I say, doing my best to hide the truth, trying to conjure up some sincerity to mask it with, “I would never hurt anyone. I couldn’t possibly imagine doing so.”

Vaughn nods, “Alright, James. Stay calm. You don’t have any reason to get upset here. This is a safe place, remember that. OK?” I nod in agreement before he continues, “As far as this war going inside of your head, I believe that you are trying to gain control over the voices as well as yourself. You want to be in control and no one else. You believe these voices are fighting against you. I’m not sure if that makes sense. Tell me if it doesn’t.”

Abel rolls his eyes, “Tell Doogie Howser over here that it makes sense. We are wasting our time here, James. Come on. Let’s get this over with as soon as possible.”

I say, “I understand, Doc.”

Vaughn smiles, though I am unsure if it is real or not, “Alright. And this voice telling you to hurt people, it is more than likely the animalistic side that all of us, as human beings, have in common. Everyone gets angry. Everyone gets pissed off and wants quote unquote fuck shit up. But it is best that you find a suitable outlet for your anger. With your chosen profession, one would think that you’ve found a really strong outlet. What do you think?”

I nod my head, feeling like a robot right now, just going through the motions, “I do enjoy it when I am out there in the ring. I feel better after I have inflicted some pain on my opponents.”

Vaughn chuckles and shakes his head, “Well I don’t condone inflicting pain on anyone, but seeing how it’s an occupational hazard, I don’t believe there is much you can do about that. Am I right?”

I smile, “Right you are, “I look down, breaking eye contact.

“Everything alright, James?”

I nod my head before regaining his gaze, “Yeah. This war is bringing back memories, Doc. Memories that I didn’t even know existed. Memories that I feel have made me who I am. I’m remembering things and I feel they are giving my glimpses into what I am.”

Vaughn speaks, worry in his eyes, “What sort of memories?”

I rub my palms together, feeling my body beginning to slowly tremble, before I lock eyes with him, “Did you know that I was molested? Back when I was a kid. You know, my family had money but my father’s household was shunned. My dad would do whatever he had to do in order to get money so he could have his fix. He’d pawn TVs, bikes, appliances…me…his own son…”

“What do you mean, James?”

My voice of reason whispers to me, “James. You don’t have to do this. Don’t do this if it is going to make you hurt.”

I shake my head, wanting to tell her that I already hurt. That I hurt every single fucking day and that is why I want to make everyone else hurt. That is why I enjoy seeing someone like Rachel Foxx get demolished before my very eyes. Seeing others in pain brings a smile to my face. I let out a deep breath then reply to Vaughn, “My father used me to get money for drugs. I was seven years old. Seven fucking years old. And he sent me into a house to make him proud. I sure made daddy proud that night. Now…did you know about that? Did I ever mention anything to you about it?”

Vaughn leans back in his chair, sadness replacing the worry on his face, “No, James. I’m sorry I didn’t know that. I am sorry that happened to you. Did it happen more than once?”

I chuckle a bit, shaking my head, “Oh anytime my father was hard up for cash. Whenever he was relapsing and his parents said no to him when he’d ask them for a loan. They were wise to his act. Just not wise enough to see what was really going on.”

Vaughn gets up from his desk and strolls over towards me. I hear Abel say, “Oh look at the Doctor now. He seems to actually give a damn now, James. This whole time he has been wasting yours. Now all of a sudden, he cares? Oh bullshit James. Put this fucker into the ground.”

Vaughn edges closer, slowly, “Did anyone know, James? What about your mother? She always seemed to love you and care for you.”

I laugh a little bit more, even slapping my knee this time, as I look up at Vaughn, “That is the thing about my mother, Doc. She was always one hell of an actress. Just like my father. Just like me. We are a family of fucking chameleons. We can be whatever and act however. It was all about appearances. We were very good at them, Doc. Hell, I’m still good at it now…” I say, feeling a slight scowl form on my face.

Abel stands behind me, a grin on his face, “Oh look at him, James. I think you’ve gone and intimidated our poor ol’ Doctor Vaughn.”

“Why…” Vaughn pauses for a moment, “Why are you telling me all of this?”

I snicker, “Because your bullshit therapy isn’t helping. I can make you think and believe whatever I want. The voices, they are real. The molestation…that fat fuck made me touch his dick. He touched me, told me he cared about me. That shit…the cigarette burns from my mother and the kicks to the back of the head from my dear old dad…all of that shit happened it is real. But I can hide it and it eats me up like a cancer and there is nothing you can do to cure it. You can’t do anything to fix it.”

Vaughn puts his hands and tries to place them on my shoulders. I quickly shove them away and take a few steps to the side as he says, “James I have helped you before. You know that. When you were a kid…”

I turn and glare at him, hearing the coldness in my voice, knowing it matches my stare as I say, “I made you believe that you helped me. You have no idea what I was doing outside of these walls. I found an outlet for myself. I had many outlets and they all made me happy, while those outlets hurt others. And now, I lose sleep. I shake at night because I have urges, Doc. Urges that are getting harder and harder to fight. I want to give in. I want to give in so fucking badly.”

He asks, trying his best to keep his composure, “What stops you, James? Be honest with me. No bullshit. What stops you from giving into those urges? Drugs…alcohol…your daughters?”

At the mention of my girls, my little angels, I feel myself calm down as I stare at my feet for a few moments, slowly breathing in and out.



I then look back at him, “My daughters do give me peace but I am not sure for how long. The one thing that helps me is my Kismet…she talks to me. She calms me down. She keeps me at bay. She helps calm down the memories as they flood my brain. The memories that make me want to do terrible things. The memories that I have kept locked away for a very, very long time.”

Vaughn speaks, trying his best not to choke up. Abel likes this and so do I, “Memories are a reminder of the past. Our past joys. Our past scars. Those scars like to linger, James. My best advice would be for you to remember just that…these things happened in the past, James. Once you realize that then you can focus on your future.”

Abel stands behind me. I see Kismet in the corner of the office, her arms crossed, eyes lowered while she shakes her head. Abel and I speak, my words are his and vice versa, “I already know what my future is, Doc.”

“Oh…” Vaughn replies, “And what is that?”

I smirk, just as Abel does, and then I say, “Time’s up…” I then begin to walk towards the office door. Before I make my exit, I turn to Vaughn and say, “We won’t be doing any hypnotizing bullshit. We won’t be doing any sort of therapy anymore because you’re not helping me.”

I go to step out but Vaughn’s voice stops me as he says, “Do you really want to be helped, James? I’m asking you. I’m not asking Kismet. I’m not asking your father or grandmother. I am not even asking Abel. I am asking you. Do you…YOU…want to be helped?”

I turn and face him from the side, “The more time goes on, Doc…I don’t think I can be helped. The longer I am out in this fucked up world, the more I think that I am well beyond saving.”

Vaughn replies, “You have control, son. You can control both voices. Or at least one for the time being. You have the willpower even if you don’t realize it. You’re not grasping at straws,James.”

I smirk, “I think I’m done grasping for anything…”

I then walk outside of the office, trying to drown out the yelling going on inside of my head. My Angel and my Devil, waging a war for my mind


A Few Hours Later

New York City, New York

I look at my phone, replaying the video I made while talking with Ace. Jr. I stare at the paused video, seeing the kid’s face, feeling somewhat bad for him after what he told me when it came to how he felt his father. I think it made him feel somewhat better when I let him know that I hate his father as well. But I stare the video, contemplating the possibility of sending it to Ace…

…Or not…

Abel says, “Do it. What the hell are you waiting for? He would do the exact same thing to you if he had thought of it. Hell, he does it now, posting pictures of him with your daughters. That’s enough justification right there if you ask me.”

Kismet says, “James, what would be the point in sending it? You’ve beaten him down already. Keep doing that and it will surely be enough. This could be overkill. Do you really want that?”

Lying on my couch, with Kismet and Abel standing before me, I look away from my phone and lock eyes with Abel, “I have to see those pictures everyday. They replay over and over in my head,” I then turn and look at Kismet, “And it could be overkill, but I don’t care. I like that fact when it comes to Ace. I don’t mind hurting him. He thinks he can’t be hurt and that there is nothing I can do to him that will harm him in any way. I know this…” I say, tapping my finger on my phone, “I know this would hurt him.”

Abel begins to chuckle as he claps his hands with joy, as if he is celebrating. Kismet crawls up next to me on the couch and whispers into my ear, “You’re letting him win…”

Before I can respond, I hear a knock at my apartment door. This startles me at first because I don’t get many visitors. I know it’s not Katelyn because I always have to go get the girls. I walk to the door and look at the peep hole. All I see is a gigantic panda. At first I wonder if it’s Ace or that Carter bitch, ready to exact revenge. But then I tell myself they wouldn’t do the exact same thing that I did the other night on Breakdown. Knowing Ace, he would want to get one over on me. I then see a hand flick out from behind the door and knock again. It is hand with soft and smooth looking skin. I let out a sigh and open the door. As the door opens, the panda moves and at first a part of me expects to be attacked but that quickly dissolves when I see…her…

…Kennedy Street…

She came to my hotel a few weeks ago, after I went toe to toe with Red Rayne. She tried to get on my good side which didn’t happen. She even tried to come up to my room. I don’t trust her. But now she is here, at my apartment. I forgot she knew where I lived. I glare at her, as she stands there, all smiles as she holds that stupid oversized stuffed panda, “What are you doing here?”

The smile remains as she says, “Keenie came here to see you honey. Why else would I be here?”

I feel my hand tightly grip the door handle as the anger rises, “You weren’t invited, Keenie. So once again, why are you here? If you’re here to annoy me then you already succeeded so you can go on about your day.”

Her smile fades into a smirk before placing the panda on the floor. She then reaches into her purse and pulls out what appears to be a movie.

Fuck, I think to myself as I read the title.

It’s “Serendipity.”

Kennedy says, “But you said to surprise you. Don’t you remember? You said to surprise you and here I am…with this movie that you just have to see. It’ll change your life, honey. It’s about love and you need some love in your life. Now let me in silly.”

She takes a few steps into my apartment and I immediately want to grab a kitchen knife and send it through her stomach, ripping through her tender flesh but instead I reach over and grab her, slamming her against the wall. She smiles at this and seems to be excited over this, as I lock eyes with her, “This isn’t a joke, Kennedy. Far from it. You think I want to be around you? I dropped you on your ass a few weeks ago. I told you that I would hurt you over Twitter. What is wrong with you? Do you want to be hurt?”

The excitement on her face matches the look in her eyes, “Slow down, Jimmy Boy. Let’s at least watch a movie and maybe have dinner first. If you play your cards right, you can hurt me all you want.”

Abel whispers in my ear, “Oh man, I like her. She’s hot. Keep her James. Please, say that we can keep her.”

I slowly loosen my grip and step away, keeping my eyes on Kennedy as she steps forward from the wall, adjusting her shirt, giving me a duck face grin the entire time, as I hear Kismet say, “Abel only wants her here to hurt her. Don’t do that, James. Don’t let him win anymore.”

I close my eyes and clench my fists, grinding my teeth, doing my best to fight them off before addressing Kennedy, “So you want to watch a movie? You were actually fucking serious about that.”

Kennedy grins, exposing her perfect white teeth, “Oh honey, Keenie never jokes about Serendipity. It is Keenie’s absolute favorite movie. They even have a nice little shop not too far from here that Keenie visits when she is in town. You will have to take me there sometime. Don’t you think that’d be nice honey?”

I can’t help but crack a grin at how idiotic all of this seems. I tried to be with her but I stood her up. I’ve said it was because I didn’t want to sink to that level. That I felt I could do better but to be honest, Kennedy Street is closer to the idea of perfection than Kelcey Wallace. Kennedy is sexy and gorgeous in ever sense of each word. I backed away because I was weak. I allowed Ace to swoop in and show me up as I always have.

Kennedy’s voice breaks my train of thought, “Does Keenie see a grin? Oh honey, I’ve been here five minutes and we are already making progress.”

Abel whispers, “Oh man…please, James…we could have so much fun with her. She looks limber. We could bend her limbs and watch as the bones pop and break through the skin. She would love it at first, not really knowing what is happening to her.”

Kismet chimes in again, “ABEL STOP!!!”

Before Abel can respond, I reply to Kennedy, “Yeah you might have. Alright, let’s get this over with. We can watch it in the living room…” I point in the direction of the living room. She zooms past me, kind of hopping by me and I feel even more annoyed. Abel tells me to play my cards right. He tells me that I could have my way with her before the night is through.

Kennedy nudges me on the way into the living room, “Oh such a gentleman.”

I then follow her into the living room where I sit on the opposite couch. She makes a few attempts at conversation during the movie. I am not sure if it is to get me interested in the movie or her or maybe even both. None of the attempts work. I sit, staring at the screen, ignoring the fighting between Abel and Kismet, as I imagine grabbing Kennedy by the throat then shoving my tongue into her mouth before letting my fingers slip into her silky underwear and working their magic, letting them get covered in the dampness before shoving her onto the living room while my fingers continue to work but in unison with my tongue as I wrap her thighs around my head. I see myself licking and nibbling, fighting the urge to sink my teeth into her “lips”. I see myself picking her up off of the floor and forcing her into my bedroom and having my way with her. I see myself grabbing one of my belts and wrapping it around her throat as I fuck her from behind, tightening it around her throat with each thrust. I see myself enjoying it more and more as she begins to struggle to breath. Even sitting in my chair, I feel myself getting excited at the image of her fighting for air, fighting to break free from my grip. I enjoy seeing her body go limp, but before any of this can possibly happen, I am brought back to reality by a sudden knock at the door. I look over at Kennedy who is enthralled by the movie before getting up and walking towards the front door. I don’t look through the peep hole. I jerk the door open and all I can say is, “What are you doing here?”

Before me stands Heath King. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks and I had hoped I had nothing else to worry about with him. But he stands before me, looking like a mixture of anger and arrogance as he bores a hole in me with his eyes, “I thought I’d come by and check on you, James. Make sure you’re not out doing anything you shouldn’t be doing. Making sure you’re not giving into any of those urges you probably have. Kind of like when you killed my sister…”

I look into the living room and I see Kennedy snap a look at me. I step outside, closing the door behind me. I can’t have a big mouth like her hearing anything Heath and I talk about. Abel says, “Be careful, James. If any of this gets out, then you know what you’ll have to do. And I like this one. If it was Amy then yeah sure, I’d say kill her either way,” Abel walks around, circling Heath and I, “As for this guy, fuck him. He’s just trying to scare you. He’s not going to do anything.”

I glare into Heath’s eyes, “What the hell do you want, Heath? We’ve already discussed this. I had nothing to do with your sister. I don’t know what else I need to say to you. If you continue to harass me…then you don’t want to know what happens…”

Heath snickers, “Was that a threat, James? If it was then that would be the second time you threatened me.”

I step forward, bumping my shoulder into Heath’s, “You can take it however you want it. I am tired of you popping up out of nowhere, accusing me of killing your sister.”

Heath shoves me back, his smile fading into a snarl, “You’ve done more than hurt my sister. Running around the city…attacking people in the middle of the night. Do you know what you are capable of, James? I don’t think you do. Neither do I, but I don’t think this city and those living here need to find out.”

I grit my teeth, “I don’t know who you think you are or what you think it is that you know about me, but whatever thoughts have crept in your head…I advise you to go ahead and forget them. You don’t know me, Heath. You never knew me growing up. You don’t have the slightest clue as to what kind of person I am or what kind of person that I can be.”

Heath replies, “I have an inclination, James. I know more about you than you realize. And knowing what I know…it gives me more reason to stop you. I won’t let you hurt anyone again. I will be following you, James. I will be watching you. Whenever you decide to give into your blood thirst, I will be there to stop you.”

I don’t say anything. I just begin shoving him violently, putting all that I have into my arms as I push him down the hallway. When we reach the stairs I say, “Get the hell out of here and stay the hell away from me…”

Heath smirks as he steps down the first few steps, “What about that pretty girl in there? Are you going to hurt her too when she rejects you? Maybe I should go warn her and tell her to run for her fucking life before it’s too late.”

I shout, “Get the hell out of here! Stay away from her and more importantly…STAY. AWAY. FROM. ME…”

And then I hear, “Honey…” I turn to find Kennedy staring at me, as she stands outside of my apartment. She looks confused. I look at my hands and see they are shaking. I then look at the stairwell to find that Heath is not there anymore. I lock eyes with Kennedy once again, “Who were you talking to?”

I shrug it off, “Nobody…just some asshole,” I walk towards her and brush by her to get into my apartment. I turn to find her still standing there, looking very unsure, “Are we going to finish this movie or what?” She nods and walks into the living room with me. I even sit down beside her on the couch this time. I stare at the screen and right as she goes to push play, I ask, “So who’s been killed?”

Kennedy shakes her head, “Honey…nobody gets killed. This is a love story. It’s very romantic.”

I look at her, trying to look more interested as to prevent her from asking any more questions about my altercation with that faggot Heath, “Romantic? I thought people watch romance movies on dates.”

A smile appears on her already beautiful face, “Well this is a date, Jimmy…”

I shake my head, “No it’s not….” I let out a sigh, giving into Abel’s pleading. I hear him ask me over and over to be nice to her, he says that she is different, “Alright…you can call this a date.”

She squeals like a school girl, which excites Abel but annoys me as Kennedy reaches over and wraps her arms around me, “Oh honey…you’ve just made my day…”

Her arms wrapped around me, I stare at the screen, feeling myself getting sick at all of the mushy love bullshit being put on display, “That’s wonderful,” The hug lasts longer than I normally allow unless I’m being hugged by my daughters. I remove her arms off of me and pause the movie before facing Kennedy and looking into her eyes, “We need to talk.”

She sits up straight, her smile fading somewhat, “Talk about what, honey?”

I close my eyes, ignoring the bad taste that forms in my mouth as I say, “Ace.”

Kennedy nods her head, “Yes, you’re right. Keenie said that Keenie knew his weaknesses. It’s probably time that Keenie tells you…”

Before she goes on any further, I speak, “I found Ace’s weakness. I knew it all along. I just never exploited it until recently. And I don’t know what to do with it.”

Kennedy looks at me, confused again, “What do you mean, honey?”

I sigh, “It’s probably best that I show you…” I say, lifting up my phone, where it shows me sitting next to Ace Jr. She looks at me then at the screen, still unsure so I just push play.


June 30th, 2016

Houston, Texas

“Alright kid…are you ready to make a memory?” I ask as I set my phone up to where it can record us. I am seated next to Ace Jr. as we sit in the living room. It took quite a bit of convincing for Sandra and Sean to let me sit with Sandra’s son on my own. Ace Jr. seemed to like the idea from the get go. He said he liked me because I beat up his dad.

“Sure,” He says.

“Alright, Ace Jr….Do you mind if I call you that?” He nods, “Alright I am James Evans and I am here with the son of the so called SCW World Champion, Ace Marshall. This is his son Ace Jr. Ace Jr. is the neglected child of the World Champion…” I turn and look at Ace Jr., “Do you know what neglect means?”

Ace Jr. nods, “Yeah. My mom has told me many times.”

I smirk at the camera, “And can you tell me what neglect is? And if you can remember…tell me about a memory you have of your father. It can be good. It can be bad. But only do it if it’s not going to upset you. I feel you’ve been through enough traumas in your life because of your so called father. I don’t want to cause you any more grief.”

Ace Jr. shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t care. Neglect is when a parent doesn’t show their child attention such as having their needs met. The parent is more concerned about themselves instead of their kids,” Listening to this, I do my best to hide my ever growing grin, “My dad did that to me ever since I was a little kid. He never acted like he wanted me around. He never wanted to do anything that I wanted to do. It was always what he wanted to do.”

I ask, “What sort of things did he want to do?”

He shrugs again, “He wanted me to sell drugs for him to make him money. I didn’t understand then. All I wanted to do was make my father happy. I remember one time my dad had me sit out on the sidewalk while he went into some huge building because he was trying to get a deal for a TV show. I sat out there for a long time. I had people passing me by, giving me strange looks.”

I nod my head, trying to give my best Academy Award winning performance of appearing concerned, “And do you remember how that made you feel?”

“I was scared because I didn’t know where I was. I was alone because my dad left me. And I felt angry towards my dad because he had left me there. I could have gotten kidnapped or something,” I watch as the kid turns his head away for a few moments, crossing his arms which is the perfect sign for when someone wants to stop talking.

I let out a sigh, “its okay, big guy. I totally understand. Your dad left me alone one time. I was getting jumped by two guys in the ring and they were beating me with steel chairs.”

Ace Jr. turns to me, “What did my dad do?”

We lock eyes, “He just stood there. He stood there and did nothing but watch. He and I were supposed to be partners but he let me down. Just as he was supposed to be your father yet he let you down.”

He nods, “He let me down a lot of times. I remember I wanted to be a dancer. I loved it yet he wouldn’t take me back. That made me feel like an embarrassment to my dad. I hated feeling like that and now…now I just hate my father.”

Once again, I try to hide my grin, “Well, Ace my young friend, you’re not an embarrassment. I barely know you and I can tell that you are destined for great things. You’ve overcome so much with your father and it has made you stronger.”

Ace tries to fight it, but a smile appears on his face, “How do you know that?”

I shrug, “Well, I had a terrible father growing up. He was never around but when he was, he always made me feel like I was nobody. Kind of like your dad did with you, it was always about my dad. I never got to do anything that I wanted. I wanted a toy? Well that money went to drugs. I wanted to go hang out with friends? I had to take care of everything in the house. Like I told you before, I’ve been where you’ve been. The only difference is that you seem to have a wonderful mother that cares about you.”

“She does. I’m really grateful for my mom. She has done so much for me. And Sean has been more of a father to me than my own. He at least believes in me.”

“Trust me, having someone like that in your life Ace Jr., it changes everything. It gives you the strength to do what others felt you couldn’t do or wouldn’t let you do. You see, your father has always put me down, just as he did with you…at least from you’ve told me…but I have used the love I get from my children as motivation. I also use the crap your dad has said about me as motivation as well.”

Ace Jr. smirks, “I hope you use it as motivation to crack his freaking skull.”

Silence falls over us for a few moments. I see Abel standing in the corner of the room, chuckling. His body shaking with laughter as he says, “Bravo, James. Bravo. Keep it going man. This is fucking rich.”

I nod then turn back to Ace Jr, “Let me ask you a question and I promise it’ll be the last question,” He shrugs, “Do you want me to punish your father? Punish him for all of the things he has done to you? Punish him for all of the things he never did with you?” The kid turns away from me and crosses his arms once more, looking like his mind is now racing as I say, “You just say the word and I will. If you give me permission then I promise you that I will make his life a living hell. I promise that I will hurt him every chance I get.”

A few more moments pass then he looks back at me, “You promise? My dad made a lot of promises and he broke them. I don’t want to deal with that from anyone ever again.”

I shake my head, “I promise to hurt him, Ace. I promise to make him feel small like he made me feel…like he made you feel. I can do that. But I need your permission first.”

A few more moments pass and he finally says, “Please…do it…hurt him. He deserves it,” I can tell he is beginning to grow angry and upset so I quickly put my arms around him. I tell him it will be okay. I tell him to calm down, repeating that everything is going to be okay. I hold him until he finally calms down and I let him go.

I look at him then ask, “Is there something you’d like to tell your so called father? If you do then look into that phone and say it. I’ll make sure that he gets it. You don’t have to be afraid. It’s just me and you, Ace Jr.”

I watch as he turns away from me and glares at the camera. I see the anger in his eyes. Abel whispers, “You and him share a lot. The anger in his eyes, I have seen it in yours….”

Ace Jr. finally speaks, “I hate you dad…I hate you so much. I fucking hate you and I’m glad I have nothing to do with you…” I put my arm around the kid once again, rubbing his arm, calming him down.

I then hear Abel speak once more, “I have to give it to you, James. You truly are a fucking artist.”

With my arm around Ace Jr., I glare into the camera, wanting Ace to see this, all of this. I want him to drink it in. The more I think about it, the more my glare fades into a smirk, because I can’t wait to see how Ace feels after this.


July 2nd, 2016

New York City, New York

2 AM

I place my phone down on my chest after watching the video for the umpteenth time. I stare up at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. I then look over at the body lying not too far from me. Kennedy Street wandered in here and never returned. I remember wondering if Abel had taken over and actually attacked her. I came in here and found her like she is now, perfectly still. I gently pressed my hand on her arms to feel her warmth. I then checked to see if there was a pulse.

I then lied down beside her and watched the video once more. Watching it brought a smile to my face, as well as the inevitable aftermath it would generate.

Ace’s weakness as I called it earlier.

I hear Abel telling me to send it. I hear Kismet telling me to leave it be. That I can hurt Ace in the ring. All I want right now however is to sleep. I feel I’ve lost so much sleep recently. Not sure what is going on when my eyelids close. All I know is that I am tired when I get out of bed, or even when I climb into bed after waking up in a strange place.

I look at my phone. I see that I have uploaded the video to send to Ace. Just haven’t sent it yet. I close my eyes and picture Ace’s face after opening the message and watching the video. I picture him grabbing the ends of a table and flipping it over. I see him punching a hole in every space of the wall that he can find. I see him dropping to his knees, panting and sobbing, shaking with anger.

I open my eyes again but barely. I feel the smile appear across my face as the images play out in my mind. I blink a few more times as my eyes get heavy, with the last thing that I see being my finger resting next to the SEND button and then…




The SCW Championship is the most coveted, most sought after, most…prestigious championship in this industry. No one other World Championship holds as much value as the SCW title. The shadow it casts is larger than the shadow Shawn Winters’ career casts upon that of my opponent, Ace Marshall. The SCW World Championship has been held by several top names that went on to become legends in this business. Some of the very best in the world have worn that title around their waist or draped it over their shoulder. The SCW Championship has been defended all over the globe, with each match revolving around it becoming an instant classic, a five star match up, and all of that magazine buzz worthy jazz. It is always highly contested and everyone who steps foot into an SCW ring, competes under the SCW banner…they all want it.

I am the next in line. I can feel it in my bones. There is excitement. There is nervousness. There is nothing quite like being in the presence of that title, nothing being so close to possibly having it as your own. I have been close to it before. I competed in a ladder match last year at Apocalypse, where the title was up for grabs. It was named the match of the year for 2015, showing just how much everyone wants that belt. How much they are willing to sacrifice themselves for that possession. I didn’t just walk into that match because of who I am. No, I had to destroy former World Champion and a big THORN in my side, Tommy Valentine, in order to receive that chance to compete for the belt. I came close at the end of the night. I came close, but fell short.

I used that as motivation. I didn’t leave the SCW. I kept going, hoping that after my performance in the ladder match that I’d be seen as a perennial contender to the SCW title, but that was not the case man. Simon Lyman was fed to me, but it didn’t satisfy my hunger. I wanted something much more. The SCW showed their true colors by putting me against local talent and homegrown heroes. I wasn’t for it, so I did my own thing, wrestling when I felt the need, when I felt challenged. I formed an alliance with Jake Starr to show the SCW that I am not someone that should be forgotten. The alliance was short lived as Jake and I came up short in trying to capture the SCW Tag Team Championships. I even failed in the finals of a tournament to crown a top contender to the SCW title when it was in the grasp of a hell-cat. I didn’t leave then. I kept going, once again, hoping that I’d be seen as a perennial contender, but instead…I was placed in the Shot of Adrenaline tournament. I made it to the finals but came up short.

I have been given opportunity. I won’t deny that. People such as Ace seem to not grasp the concept of what I am saying. When I say I haven’t had opportunity, it is because I haven’t really had any opportunity when it comes to stepping up in the main event, when it comes to being seen as a mainstay guy. I get close but as soon as I lose, I am pushed down while others can lose, but they are still used prominently, every match they have is promoted like it is the main event of Rise to Greatness, even if it is just a Breakdown match. I have wanted opportunity and I have asked. The opportunities I have wanted have been to be placed against the main event level mainstay talents so I could get better and grow as a performer. My words fell on deaf ears for the most part. Every so often, I’d get thrown a courtesy match as if the SCW didn’t know what to do with me.

It is reasons like that as to why it is hard for me not to get frustrated. I have spent years trying to get better at this craft, to grow as a talent, to become viewed as one of the best in this industry. I’ve been told to show a little personality. I’ve been told that I was good, but not quite where I needed to be. After hearing that over and over, I got so frustrated I left. It wasn’t because the going truly got tough. It was that actually getting things going got tough. I have always tried. I have reinvented myself over and over, trying to keep things going for myself while others such as the current SCW World Champion decided to give up and leave. He’d get bored and bail.

Yet he holds the World Championship.

I hate Ace. He and I have both made it abundantly clear. I apparently talk about it too much but he can’t shut up about it himself. I hate him for many personal reasons, but on a professional level, Ace Marshall, to me is everything that is wrong with this company. Ace came in and rode off of Shawn Winters’ coattails, even getting to compete in a pay per view main event for the World title shortly after debuting in the company. He went from beating main event talent like Jason Zero and Greg Cherry, to pissing all over opportunities such as his matches with Porno Lad against Karnivale for the tag titles. Let’s not forget his Adrenaline Championship match against Jake Starr that he showed no interest in when push came to shove.

Ace won two matches when I brought him back into the SCW a few years ago and he was placed in a match for the number one contendership for the Adrenaline Championship. He won then pissed all over that opportunity. My point is Ace has always come in at the right time, got himself into position then blew his shot. I came in and busted my ass for nearly five months before I got a title shot. I never picked my spots. I showed interest for every single match I was placed in back then just as I have over the years. When presented with an opportunity, I always gave it my all. I didn’t blow it off like it meant nothing.

Just as I am not blowing this match at Rise to Greatness off. Rise to Greatness is an event I haven’t had the best of luck at, but I have always made it to the show and given it my all, even in defeat. While Ace Marshall was in the back getting fucked up with Shawn Winters and not giving a shit about this industry or those who now support him, I was out there, busting my ass, trying to win, trying to get better, trying to get noticed. Ace is trying now. He is confident going into this match. He has been confident ever since he returned and it has been one hell of a journey for him, but as I said, he represents everything wrong with this company. My anger isn’t directed at him for any wrong doing I’ve suffered in this company. I’ve been at fault over some of it, which I have pointed out yet Ace wants everyone to just forget about all of that. He wants to say I am blaming him for everything because of his constant need for approval and attention. In this industry, you have work horses and then you have those pretty faces. I am a work horse. Pretty face, sure I am a good looking guy, but I don’t have that outgoing personality that people cling to, that the fans love to see because their lives are pointless and bland.

Ace is one of the pretty face people. He can talk. He is the entertainer. He lives up to that moniker. And I will not take anything away from him. He is entertaining. Always has been and I am sure he will be after Rise to Greatness, even if he eating meals through straws and having to have someone change his diaper on the off-chance I break his neck in the middle of the ring. Those pretty faces get it all because the SCW and the powers that be are afraid of having the face of the company be that of a so called “monster”. That is why Red Rayne has yet to receive her shot after beating top name after top name. They are afraid to lose money over having the face of their company being a guy who busts his ass, a guy who would prefer to let his skills do the talking…a guy such as myself.

Seeing this over and over, dealing with this year in and year out, it is enough to make a man go crazy. And Ace, maybe you are right. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am violent. But you must think that I am not in control. If I wasn’t then Ace, I would have taken your life by now. I would have shoved a blade into your abdomen and slide it up, down, and across like a crossword puzzle before watching your guts spill out all over the canvas. If I wasn’t in control Ace, I would have bought a gun and sat outside of your home, waiting for the first chance to put one right between your eyes. I could have done that, but I haven’t. That wouldn’t be any fun. Just like me hurting you every week, that isn’t me trying to scare you, intimidate you, or make you worry for your well-being. It is just me having fun because I get my pleasure in inflicting pain on my opponents. That has always been a constant in my career, Ace. That is a story that has never changed. Even when I was trying to be respectful, hurting others has always been such a fucking joy for me.

Just as seeing you as SCW World Champion has been a joy. Despite my hatred for you, I am glad you won the World title. I am glad you took my advice back in December to come back to the company. I have wanted you to come back so you could become better. So you could finally live up to your potential just so I could come in and kick your ass. So I could hurt you in front of those who care for you and adore you, be it in front of Katelyn and Cassidy Carter, or even the fans who can’t seem to get enough of you. So I could hurt you and take from you as you have taken from me, as well as many others in the back who bust their asses every single week of every single year while you were away sucking dick for cocaine and robbing the cradle just so you could have a place to sleep at night. You have worked so hard to come back from those days, struggling every day not to fall off of the wagon. Winning the SCW World Championship and being able to defend on the biggest stage of them all has got to give you that feeling of it being worth it.

I hope it was because Ace you deserve it. Just as you deserve every single time I punch you or kick you. Just as you will deserve to be pushed beyond your brink, pushed like you’ve never been pushed before. You were bettering yourself on the mid card, but I am no David Miller or Shilo Valiant. Neither of them can lace up my boots. I have gone toe to toe with Shilo and I have always whipped his ass. I have always embarrassed him because he sold me short just as you have always done. Friend or foe, you have never recognized me as anything more than some awkward antisocial weirdo. Never as someone who could take this profession by storm. Never as someone who has what it takes to become SCW World Champion. We are here now Ace. I have proven I have what it takes to be SCW World Champion. I outlasted thirty nine SCW superstars, going over an hour in the ring, while you were flirting with a multitude of women in order to get your shot.

I have always worked harder than you Ace and I always will. You can do the whole work smarter bit but in the end that will only get you so far. If I lose to you, I know that I will have to go back to the drawing board but I will work harder and I will be back here, in spite of you, in spite of anyone else who fucking doubts me. You are sick of me? Good, I am sick of you. I have been sick of you. Question my sanity, just as I will question your mindset as well. I know that you are jonesing to use someone else for your own benefit. I know that you are just waiting to fuck the SCW over despite the opportunities that have been thrown your way, despite the red carpet being rolled out for you. We are horrible people. I am horrible because I have been through the ugliness of the world. You have too, but that was by choice. I was born into it. I use it as motivation to show that I have risen above it. I use it for motivation to punish people like you. You think you’re paying for it now after losing all of your relationships and being shunned by your family, but you have no idea. What has gone on between you and I has been nothing more than kiddie games, much like your shtick of wanting to make things fun.

You have a sense of humor. Good deal. I do too. Ours are different. You chastise me and make a mockery of me when you get the opportunity. You bury me with your words. You did this earlier this year when we were trying to be friends. I was just your punching bag. You enjoyed making me the butt end of your jokes. So I ask you, what happens when it all comes back and hits you in the face, breaks your nose, makes you bleed and beats you unconscious…what then?

It will be my moment of glory.

When this is all over, you won’t have to worry about my children. I would never harm them. If they see what I do to you then that is on Katelyn. They don’t need to see what I am going to do. Making you scream in agony and pain that will be worth it. It will be Rise to Greatness worthy. You and I were destined to do this as soon as our paths crossed. It was going to happen at one point or another, but here it is. We are living in the moment, building off of our past, and it will culminate in less than two weeks. It will end with me standing tall, holding the SCW World Heavyweight Championship, or with you possibly winning but being taken out on a stretcher, looking less and less like a champion.