“The Big Empty”

September 4th, 2016

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Lying on the floor in my locker room, I stare up at the ceiling. Anger coursing through my veins, mixed with a little bit of disbelief. The perfect beginning ingredients when creating a cocktail of failure. I can’t move. I can’t speak. All I can do is stare.

And listen to Abel as he speaks, “You failed, James. You failed and now what is there? You chose to go the easy route, the regular route. You chose not to listen to me and now I am going to stop listening to you…” He lets out a sigh as I just lie motionless, like a cadaver being prepped for mutilation in some college anatomy class, “I had high hopes for us, James. I truly did. You made a believer out of me each and every time you said you’d give into who you really are. But in the end,” Another sigh, “You made me out to be a fool.”

While I cannot speak or move, my brain still works, telling me that Abel is right. I am a liar. I am a piece of shit. I don’t deserve Abel. I should be punished. Color me Jesus and crucify me for all of my misdeeds. Abel continues, “You were a champion, James. The Champion of the World to be exact. And you let that slip right through your fingers. Instead of doing what you should do, which is get in and get out, brutalizing anyone and everyone in your path, you got cocky. You got arrogant. That is not who you are. You leave those theatrics to Ace…”

He’s right my brain continues to tell me. I move my eyes finally and I see Abel kneeling beside me, his hands clamped together as if he is praying to whatever God is around, but instead of he is God and he is condemning me. I deserve this, my brain repeats. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the disdain and pain in Abel’s eyes. I am sure it matches mine. Hearing his voice and his words, I know that it does, “I looked at you with pride James once you destroyed Ace. I looked at you with pride on so many things. I even overlooked the wishy-washy attitude, how you would go back and forth on what you wanted, because I loved you, James. You were my pride and joy.”

“I saw you stalking the streets of New York, spreading terror like the virus we were intended to be. Putting fear in the hearts of everyone and panic in their blood, but that didn’t happen. I could see you letting the wild inside of you makes its way out sot eh rest of the world could see it. You would get away from social media and all things that are in the “Now” but that didn’t happen. You could not sever ties with anything. The one thing I wanted you to keep was that championship and it turned out to be the only thing you severed ties with.”

The only thing…those words repeat over in my mind. I want to gasp for air but I can’t. I want to cry but I can’t. Drive the nails into my hands and feet. Drive that hateful spear into my side so I can bleed out. So I can be just as I am without the championship…so I can be empty. That is what I deserve. That is what needs to happen, my brain states, forming sentences that I visualize being produced with volts of electricity. And then my thoughts are broken up as he says, “I have to leave you, James. You are no good to me right now. You are damaged goods, son. I hate to say that but it is the truth. You are drowning and I don’t believe I have the strength or will to carry you any further. You can chalk this up to tough love if you need to, but just know that I am leaving.”

He continues, “I will live, James. I will live and there is nothing you will be able to do that can stop me. I am stronger than you are. I am everything you could have been, but chose not to be. In saying that, know that I am going to hurt everyone you said you would but never did. That means I am going to hurt Katelyn. I am going to hurt Hudson. I am going to hurt Vaughn. If I feel the need to then I will hurt your daughters. I will even hurt your precious Amy and I will hurt her really, really bad my friend. And take this however you wish, but should you choose to stand in my way, I will hurt you too,” Abel stops speaking and I turn my eyes towards his as ours lock. He scowls at me. I want to reply but I can’t. He speaks once more, “You brought this upon yourself, James. I don’t think I can stress that enough. It didn’t have to be this way but you chose to disobey me, to steer clear of the path I had provided, showing me complete and utter disrespect. You can live your lowly existence, just steer clear of me. Do not interfere and everything will be golden. But remember, should you try and prevent me from living then I will hurt you,” Our eyes remain locked. He looks at me as if he is waiting for me to respond, but when I don’t, he turns away and shakes his head while releasing a sigh.

I watch as Abel climbs to his feet. He looks down at me, letting out one last sigh before shaking his head and turning away. He disappears from view. My eyes search for him, but there is nothing to see. Just my trashed locker room, dents in the lockers, my gear thrown everything. All of it resembling the mess that I am. I then return my eyes to the ceiling, looking for guidance, looking for an escape, looking for anything, but there is nothing.

Just silence.

Emptiness.

And now…black.

____________________________________

“Walk in the Park”

September 9th, 2016

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The weather is getting a tad bit cooler, letting me know that autumn is on the horizon. I sit on a bench inside of Prospect Park, watching as the rest of the insects make their way around, smiling and laughing. Couples holding hands, pressing their temples together, getting mushy with public displays of affection. I roll my eyes at that. Another fucking hashtag. I see children running around without a care in the world and at one point, I would have envied them. But as I do with the rest of the insects, I pity them all. They scurry around here, not worrying about a damn thing, believing that they are invincible. The older they grow however; they will realize that invincibility is as much of an imaginary concept as perfection. They will realize that the ugliness of this world is not something that they can be protected from, that it is something that they cannot ignore forever. That is the problem with parents these days, I think to myself, as I continue to observe. Parents these days feel like they have the keep their children away from the world so they use technology to preoccupy their minds. It is something that the mother of my children does, giving my daughters iPads and Pokemon Go for example. I would prefer my daughters know first hand that evil exists, and it is necessary for the world to function.

That is why I am here. I am meeting one of my daughters, as the other one fears me. My friend, my only friend…Abel, got behind the wheel and led me to their mother’s apartment. Abel isn’t a fan of their mother or my daughters. He did something that not even I approve of, taking a pillow and attempting to smother my child, Kelly. Her sister, Keira saw it. She has a reason to fear me, as sometimes Abel gets a little too excited when he is in control. Though, when I am in the driver’s seat, I would never and I mean never hurt my children. Abel isn’t a fan of love, but I do love them. I at least have that freedom and it is something that I refuse to allow him to take from me. I haven’t seen my daughter in nearly two months. Their mother wants to keep them away from me because of how violent I have become. That violence has never been towards my children and that won’t change. The violence has been towards their mother. It has been towards the man I once felt to be friend, the man who fucked their mother behind my back…the man they refer to as Uncle Ace. It is the same violence Abel intended for me to share with this city. God, I miss Abel…

A broken city filled with sin and littered with scars. Whoever said that the Big Apple is rotten to its core told the truth. I just want to change things here, to wake this city up. It is what Abel wants. Where are you, Abel? Are you there?

Hello…?

I imagine myself hearing Abel’s voice, “That didn’t last long, James. I knew you would grow bored,” And I say nothing, because he is right. I kidnapped the man I called my mentor. I drugged him and held him captive for a short amount of time, beating him and trying to break him. It wasn’t as much fun as I had originally thought. I let him go and fabricated a story where he had gotten drunk as well as took one too many pills. I played the role of the hero as well as the caring friend for this man I claimed to be a father figure. He didn’t buy it but his wife and everyone else did.

“You’re right, Abel. It didn’t. I grew bored way too fast. Just as you said I would,” I reply finally. Knowing Abel truly isn’t here, there is a part of me that wishes he was. I feel so alone.

I check my phone, getting on Twitter, another form of social media that I hate, but I use it as a way to fulfill some of my needs. I add other users, all within my chosen profession of professional wrestling, most of them are female. I look at their pictures as a way to fulfill my carnal desires, as most of them are sluts who post pictures of themselves, almost full exposed, putting all of their goods out there for the world to see. Some of them I will never meet, I am sure but there is no need for me to not let my imagination run wild.

I do have a girlfriend of sorts. She and I have quite a unique relationship. She and I are totally different, though I find myself caring for her little by little. Once again, Abel doesn’t like that but she and I fuck quite a bit, which keeps Abel quiet. Abel gets annoyed with her just as I do, except he wants to beat her senseless. I don’t want that to happen, though I am more concerned with Abel hurting my daughters or attempting than him hurting someone else.

I continue to wait for the real Abel to show up, but there is nothing. I sit in loneliness, completely unaware of Kelly running up and jumping onto my lap, taking me completely by surprise, as she shouts, “DADDY!!!” The word bounces back and forth like a game of ping pong in my ear. I quickly meet her gaze as Kelly smiles adoringly at me. I lean forward and kiss her forehead then hug her tight. Abel gets up from the bench and walks out of my view, shaking his head. Kelly leans back in my arms, “Oh Daddy, I missed you so much. Where have you been?”

I chuckle, keeping her locked in my arms as we rise from the bench. I see her mother, Katelyn walk towards me, the fury in her eyes is still the same as it was the last time I saw her. I smirk at her before replying to Kelly, “I’ve just been busy, honey. I hated not being able to spend time with you.”

Kelly shakes her head, “Mommy just wanted to keep me away from you…”

This makes me want to laugh a little as it is funny what children can pick up on, but to save what little bit of face I may have left, I choose a different route, “No, honey that isn’t the case. Your mother wouldn’t do that. She wants you to see me.”

Kelly fires back, “Mommy said you and her have to talk about stuff first.”

I nod my head, “And we did, baby girl. That is why you’re here with me now.”

Kelly shakes her head again, “No she said she needed to talk to you today, Daddy. She is going to tell on me.”

I look at her, slightly confused, “What is Mommy going to tell on you about?”

Katelyn steps up, “Kelly, can you sit on the bench so Mommy can talk to Daddy really quick?”

Kelly goes to argue but I step in, “Kelly, do as your Mommy says, okay? Otherwise, we won’t get to spend much time together. So sit on the bench where Mommy and Daddy can see you. If you do that and if you’re a good girl, we will play in the park. Is that a deal?” I ask, feeling slightly sick to my stomach over the Daddy of the Year routine.

Kelly rolls her eyes with a groan, “Deal…” I put her down on the bench and I kiss her on the forehead before taking a step or two away with Katelyn and we stand where we can both see our daughter.

“Are you here to give me shit, Katelyn? If so, you can save your breath because I don’t want to hear it. I want to spend time with my daughter, something you seem to think I don’t want to do. Something you think I’ve never wanted to do,” I say, my words filled with venom.

Katelyn rolls her eyes, “I don’t have time to deal with your shit today, James. I don’t want to be here. I don’t MY daughter to be anywhere near you, but she wants to see her father. She has been begging to see you. But I don’t know what’s going on with you. You’re fucking crazy as I’ve said before, but there is something going on with Kelly and I was hoping that you could set aside our bullshit to talk to her. To see what you can figure out. Help me out for once.”

I want to smack her across the face for indicating that I don’t help, but I choose not to, even if it would delight Abel as well as myself. I turn and look at Kelly before returning my attention to Katelyn, “What has been going on? Tell me that much.”

Katelyn shakes her head, sadness washing onto her face, a face I once loved, “She has been getting into fights with Kiera and Kayla. Basically over nothing. She is very stand-offish and confrontational. There’s anger inside of her and I figured who better to have her talk to you than the king of anger himself.”

I look at Kelly once again as she sits on the bench in a huff, “So, she’s been violent? Like physically?” I ask, keeping my eyes on my daughter, a sense of dread building up inside.

“Yeah she has. She has hit Kiera on numerous occasions. It is getting to the point where I have trouble calming her down. Even Abi has trouble these days. It’s happening more and more as times goes on.”

I let out a sigh as worry settles in, “I’ll talk to her,” I say before turning and walking towards Kelly. I take a seat next to my daughter, placing my arm around Kelly and pulling her close. She giggles which makes me smile, “So how are you doing my little monster?”

She stares forward, “I’m doing okay, Daddy. I just missed you.”

I nod, “I missed you too, baby doll. How is your sister, Kiera?”

Kelly shrugs, “I don’t know. She didn’t want to come see you, Daddy. Why are you asking about her?”

I look down at her, “Because I love your sister, Kelly. She is my daughter, just as you are. I love you both.”

“But you said I was your favorite, Daddy.”

I curse myself, as I remember their birthday party a few months ago. Katelyn kicked me out due to Abel’s visit to her apartment coming to light. Kelly was crying hysterically for me. I told her that she was my favorite and it calmed her down some. I let out a sigh, “I love you, Kelly. I love you so much. You’re Daddy’s girl, but Kiera is also my girl. I need you to understand that. Your Mommy told me that you’ve been mean to Kiera. Is that true?”

Kelly looks away. I repeat the question, but Kelly still says nothing, “So have you been mean to your sisters, Kelly?”

Kelly hesitates at first but after repeating the question once more, she fires back, “I was only mean to her because she is mean to you. She doesn’t love you Daddy. She says mean things about you and I don’t like it.”

I shake my head, “That isn’t right, Kelly. You don’t need to be mean to your sisters. Kiera loves me, but right now, there is something going on with her. I do not get mad at her for feeling the way she does. And you shouldn’t either. Just know that I love you as well as Kiera no matter what. Do you understand?”

Kelly looks up at me, sadness in her eyes, “But Daddy…I don’t like it when people say bad things about you. It just makes me mad.”

I shrug my shoulders, “I understand and Daddy appreciates you not liking it when people say bad things about me. I am sure its your Mommy and Uncle Ace, but you don’t need to let that bother you. Like I said, just know that I love you. Daddy is a big boy, honey. You don’t have to fight for Daddy. Let Daddy fight for you, okay?”

She huffs and puffs before Kelly nods her head, “Okay. Fine.”

I lean forward, keeping my eyes locked with hers, “Promise me that you’ll be a good girl.”

She pokes out her bottom lip, crossing her arms. I tell her to promise me once more. Kelly lets out a loud sigh, “Fine Daddy. I promise.”

I crack a smile, “Alright, Kelly. So tell me what you’re going to do the next time someone makes you mad?”

Another sigh, “I’m not going to be mean to my sisters. Or Mommy. Or Uncle Ace. I’ll just tell Sandy no.”

As soon as the words slip out of her mouth, the fear and the dread intensifies. I blink a few times and shake my head. I let out a few coughs as I try to fight the panic. After a few moments, with Kelly asking me if I’m okay, I clear my throat and regain my bearings, “Daddy’s fine sweetie. Did you say you’d tell Sandy no?” She nods her head yes. I nod, “Can you tell Daddy who Sandy is?”

Excitement appears on my daughter’s face, as she shrugs, “Oh she’s my best friend besides you Daddy.”

I let a sigh of my own, “Sandy doesn’t tell you to do things? Like bad things, does she? You can tell Daddy. Daddy promises not to be mad or anything.”

Kelly shakes her head, “No, Daddy.”

“What sort of things do you and Sandy talk about, honey?” I ask, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

Kelly shakes her head, “I can’t tell you, Daddy. It’s a secret between me and Sandy.”

“You know you shouldn’t keep secrets from your Daddy right? Especially since I am one of your best friends. You know that you can tell me anything, right?” She nods, “Well, make me another promise. If Sandy tells you to do bad things, promise me that you will tell her no. Just think of my voice and how your Daddy’s good girl. Can you do that for me?” Kelly smiles as she nods once more. I lean down and kiss her on the forehead, “Alright good, baby girl. Let’s go back to your Mommy, okay?” I put my hand out and she takes it as we get off of the bench and meet Katelyn. I drop down to one knee, hugging Kelly tightly, “Daddy loves you honey. Don’t forget that. I will see you real soon. As long as its okay with your Mommy.” She hugs me back, tells me she loves me too and that she can’t wait to see me again. I kiss her cheeks then her forehead before rising to my feet, locking eyes with Katelyn, “Thank you.”

Katelyn shakes her head, “Just remember I am only here because I was forced to be, James. But thank you for talking with her. I hope to God it helped.”

I look at my beautiful daughter then back at Katelyn, fighting the urge to drive my elbow into her face, “I hope so as well. Goodbye Katelyn…” I smile down at my daughter, “Goodbye Kelly. Remember what Daddy said, alright. I love you,” Katelyn backs away, holding Kelly’s hand as my little monster tells me goodbye and that she loves me too. I then watch as they both walk away while I try to ignore the sense of dread that continues to linger.

____________________________________

“Home”

September 9th, 2016

____________________________________

Hello?

Abel?

Are you there?

I’m…home…

Stepping inside of my apartment, I see it is just as I left it. Dark and empty. I turn the kitchen light on, which illuminates the rest of the area before me. I walk through the living room and stare outside of the window. New York is alive and well, unlike me. I am alive, but I am not well. It’s so hot that I am in Hell…

I close my eyes, pressing my forehead against the window. I feel a grin appear on my face. My father abandoned me all of the time when I was growing up. Ace abandoned me. Katelyn abandoned me just as well. Kennedy is abandoning me, isn’t she? If Abel was here, he would be able to tell me the truth. He would help me see. I pull my phone out of my pocket and go through the contacts to find Kennedy’s number. I send her a text message.

“Hey.”

I place the phone back in my pocket, closing my eyes once again, as I stand and wait. I wait for a response from her. I want for her to say hey, to finally say something to me. She has been avoiding me like the plague I tell myself. She saw what I had done to Hudson. That is a good enough reason to avoid someone right? But doesn’t’ she care about me at all? I like to think so. I check my phone to see if I have it set on silent, to see if Kennedy has responded. It is on vibrate and she hasn’t said a word. I haven’t heard from her in I don’t know how long.

I know that Abel would laugh at me for feeling like this. And he should laugh at me. This is not who I am. This is not who I want to be.

Damn it, I think to myself.

I begin looking through my phone. I need someone to talk to. I want someone to talk to. I hate being lonely. For the last few months, I’ve had either Kismet or Abel to talk to. Kismet is no longer with me as I had to get rid of her. She was slowing me down, just as I slowly dragged Abel down. Now Abel’s voice is no longer there. I feel like I am in a fog. My mind is mush or so it seems. Having Abel around kept me above the fog, but now…

There is just me and that scares the shit out of me.

But not as much as the thought of my daughter sharing my curse, this disease, scares me. I don’t want her to go through what I’ve gone through. If she ends up going down this path, I am going to have to figure out a way to stop it, to show her how to turn it off. I chuckle at this, knowing that I don’t have the strength to do so. I can’t shut Abel off.

But what about his warnings? He said he was going to hurt those I care about. Those I tried to force myself to hate in order to appease Abel, to keep him around. But now I ask, was that right? Should I stop him? I will have to ignore the longing to have him around in order to so, but am I strong enough to handle that? To take on such a task?

I remind myself that my daughter’s live could be at stake, as well as the lives of others. Abel is dangerous, this curse is dangerous in of itself.

I tell myself that it may be best to do this, to rid myself of Abel, if not for me…

…then for my daughter…

_______________________

October 5th, 2016

Providence, RI

Post-Breakdown

_______________________

I blink a few times, getting myself back in gear. I am nervous, but I don’t think I can stop myself. I have to do this. It isn’t for me, but for the safety of others. I don’t think I’ve ever been this concerned or worried before in my life. Hell, I am even worried about Ace Marshall, which is something I never thought I would say, think, or even fucking feel.

But she is a top priority. Abel is targeting her more than anyone else right now. I cared about her months ago. I wanted to try and pursue romantically. That didn’t happen. It hurt yes, but it seems Abel wants to take things a little too far with his own brand of revenge. Ace suffered this, as Abel was playing me like a puppet the entire time. Syren almost suffered the same fate but I was able to gain control. I have beat myself up over it because it cost me the SCW Championship, but someone’s life is much more important than a wrestling title.

I see her, Abel’s prime target, Amy walking down the hallway. I turn away, hoping that she didn’t see me. I have already tried talking to her earlier while I was in control. There was a lapse earlier where everything is also a blur, so I am sure Abel made his presence felt in some capacity. That is why I have to do this. That is why I have to warn her. I keep my face hidden, dropping to one knee while pretending to tie my shoe as she walks by. I let her get a few steps ahead before standing up and calling out to her as I say, “Amy…”

She turns around and immediately glares at me. "For gods sake, what part of 'leave me alone' do you not understand?" Shaking her head, she starts backing away.

It kills me to see her back away. While it once pleased me, I believe that was just to appease Abel. I deserve her anger and frustration. I have blown her phone up recently, trying to get her to talk to me, but to no avail. I keep my eyes locked with hers, hoping she can see some sort of sincerity in mine, "I know...I know. I am not here to cause you any harm. I just really need to talk to you. It is very important. I hope you believe me when I say that, because...."

"Because what? You want to get me alone somewhere? How stupid do you think I am? I could have you charged with harassment with all the messages you sent to my phone." Amy crosses her arms, still glaring. She looks around, seeing a few crew members still milling around. I guess she thinks it's safe enough with some eyes close by. "Fine. You have two minutes. Talk."

Before I know it, I am flying off of the mouth, “Alright, first off…Amy, I know you have every right to hate me and be disgusted with me. You have every right to be afraid. I know you’ve talked to Abel. That wasn’t me. That isn’t me. You can believe that or not. I can’t make you think otherwise. But the reason I have been bothering you or as you put it…harassing you, is because I am trying to fucking protect you,” I look around at the crew members. A few of them look our way. I draw in a deep breath, calming myself before speaking once more, “We need to talk elsewhere. Somewhere private, Amy. I’m not trying to hurt you.”

"Protect me from what? Yourself? Look, I get that you have some weird shit going on in your head, but I am not going anywhere with you." She takes a small step backwards. "I mean, how am I supposed to know who I'm even talking to?"

I let out a sigh, “Alright fine. You have a point. I have a hard time keeping up with who is in control. And yeah, I do have weird shit going on inside of my head, and that fucking scares me, Amy. We don’t have to go anywhere away from the arena, but can we at least talk in a locker room or something? Hell, it looks like there is one right down the hall, next to the stage hands,” I point and she looks but quickly turns back to me. I feel like I am getting nowhere. I sigh again, looking down at my feet, “I am not…”I look up and lock eyes with her once more, “Going to hurt you, Amy. That is what I am trying to prevent. That is what I am trying to protect you from.”

Amy shakes her head, and speaks under her breath, "Shit like this that gets me into trouble..." She looks back towards that locker room again, and then back at me, shrugging. "Fine. But one hint of anything even resembling a threat... and I scream bloody murder and then report everything to anyone who will listen."

I put my hands up in surrender, before dropping my arms and nodding my head. I then walk by her, going straight into the locker room. I stand in the middle of the room as she enters, hesitantly. I stay away from the door, hopefully letting her know that I want it open. I want her to trust me. Once inside, I respond, “I am not trying to make a threat, but Amy, you should probably not make threats either. That is what I have been trying to tell you. I don’t know how long I can keep control. I lose control, everything is a blur, and I have no idea what happens during that time. I am saying this because I feel like Abel came around because something triggered him. If you threatening me is a trigger then I’d rather not take that chance.”

Amy stays close to the door, but is actually in the room so that's a little promising. "If I ever made any threats, it was in response to yours. His. Whatever. But, fine. Now what is so important?"

I run my hands over my face and shake my head, “Like I said, I don’t know how long I will have control. And I don’t mean where I lose control for a certain amount of time. I am talking long term. I know that this doesn’t make sense. Hell, it doesn’t make sense to me. Half of the time, I have no idea what the day is. A few weeks ago, I didn’t even know I was at Breakdown. And the reason I am telling you all of this is because…and this isn’t me threatening you…but you…and you specifically…are in, “I feel a weakness in my knees as the word exits my mouth, “Danger…”

Amy glares again, not really the reaction I was looking for. "No shit, I've been in danger around you ever since you grabbed my arm at that bar! You can tell me that was Abel and not you all you want, it's still you, he's in you! How do I know this isn't all some elaborate excuse to get me to trust you, just so you can... " Amy shakes her head, a bad idea obviously on her mind, by the look on her face. She doesn't put it into words though. "I don't even know what. What exactly do you want me to do?"

I put my hand up, “First off, I need you to remain calm, Amy. At this point, I doubt you will ever trust me again. Yes Abel is a part of me, but he is not me. I don’t want to hurt you. That is not and has never been my intention, but please, talk to me calmly…otherwise…” I stop talking. I blink a few times as she becomes fuzzy all of a sudden. The more I blink, the fuzzier she becomes. I blink again and I see black, then...

I can’t help but start laughing at first. Lifting my head slowly, my eyes fall upon her, “Oh my…sweet…sweet…Amy…”

Amy seems to notice a change, is it my tone of voice? She steps backwards closer to the open door, reaching for the frame. "You. Stay away from me. Don't take one step. Why can't-" Before she can finish, I've already grabbed her and pulled her close. I kick the door shut then push her near the lockers.

"Isn't he so noble, Amy? Poor weak ass James...he is trying to protect you from me. Yet here you are...alone with ..." I change my tempo to a chipper and squeaky tone, "Me...hehe"

Amy doesn't try to struggle away. Maybe she knows better. Her breathing has increased and become erratic though, which pleases me. "I knew this was a trick... Go ahead... do whatever it is you want. Get it over with!"

Laughter rings from my lungs, "Oh you truly are dumb. If you think this was a trap then you have no fucking clue. James doesn't have it in him to hurt you or anyone else for that matter without my help. But you see...he wants to save everyone. To protect them. James knows that I'm going to be the driver's seat soon enough and there will not be a trace of him except for this face you see."

"Maybe there is no James and Abel. Maybe all of it is you and you're playing everyone for fools. Whatever the case may be, just fucking do something! Either hurt me or let me go but stop playing games!" Now she does try to struggle free, but I can tell in her eyes that she realizes that she can’t overpower me. “Oh there is a big difference between James and I. James would do anything to save you, but I…I would do everything to hurt you. I could beat your fucking skull in and leave you lying in a pool of your own blood. I would even send pictures to your children and I wouldn’t give a good goddamn. It worked so well with Ace and his son. It didn’t bother me a bit that Ace posted it all over the internet. Hell, let’s post a video of me kicking the shit out of you…shall we?” I shove her down and grab James’ phone out of his pocket. I click the camera on and I lift my other hand, balling it into a fist. She covers up as I move into strike her, to do what I have wanted to do for oh so long when… “NOOOO!!!!” I drop my phone and turn away from Amy, grabbing my own wrist, preparing myself to break it, “Stop this Abel. Stop it. I know you’re there and I know you can hear me…”

“You don’t deserve to share a brain with me. You are a fucking weak pathetic piece of garbage. You are afraid to do what you were meant to do…You talk, talk, talk yet you never deliver. You are a fucking coward…”

“Please don’t do this, Abel. Don’t do this. I need you around. I need you around but it can’t be like this…just stop. Fucking stop, please. I am begging you…”

“Oh that is fucking hilarious. That is rich, boy. You think you’re begging now. You don’t even have the slightest clue. You are as lost as you have ever been. You will be screaming for my mercy before you know it. I told you that I was going to live and you will not stop me…”

And then, “James…James…JAMES!!!” I freeze. I do not turn around. There is a ringing in my ears. I feel like my skull is splitting in fucking two. I close my eyes and try to focus, to rid myself of the ringing and the splitting and I hear a voice, Amy’s voice calling out to me. I keep my eyes closed, controlling my breathing, focusing in on her voice, as she continues to say, “James…J-James…” And then I turn and face her, letting out a exasperated breath.

She is at the locker room door, her hand on the handle and I don’t blame her. I want to tell her to get out and to run as far away as she can, but all I can muster up is, “Are you okay?"

Amy looks confused, scared, yet concerned all at the same time. "James?" She isn't sure it's me. I nod to let her know it is. "What the... hell just happened??"

"I asked you a question first. Are you okay?"

Amy nods, her hand still on the door. "Yeah. I... I got up when you- he- what happened?"

“I’m sick, Amy. I am so very sick and that sickness is trying to consume me…”

“You mean, Abel…” Amy replies, taking her hand off of the door knob, but still keeping her distance.

I nod, “Yes. He wants to take over completely. I am surprised I was able to fight him off like that. Like I said, I lose time which means I black out and can’t remember a damn thing. There is almost an entire month that I can’t remember and I worry at the thought of what Abel did or has done while in control. I worry about how much longer I have until he takes complete control. I worry about whether or not I will be able to continue fighting him off.”

Just then there is a knock at the door. Amy and I look at one another. I nod and she does the same before opening the door. It is one of the stagehands. He looks at me then at Amy and back at me, “Is everything alright in here? I heard loud voices.”

Amy and I look at one another, before she looks back at him, “Yeah, everything is fine. We were just talking and…”

I cut in, “I got a little excited but everything is fine. We were getting ready to leave. Thanks for checking in,” I say. He gives us both another look.

He looks at Amy, “Are you sure? I can call security if I need to.”

Amy shakes her head after hesitating for a brief moment, letting out a sigh before responding, “No. Thank you but that's not necessary. I'm fine.” He gives me one more glance before shrugging his shoulders and stepping out, leaving the door open. Amy keeps her hand on the knob. We lock eyes, “But you're not fine, are you, James?”

I hold her gaze for a few moments, before releasing a sigh of my own, as I shake my head and say, “I don’t know, Amy. I really don’t know and that fucking terrifies me. I am worried about you and a dozen other people. I don’t know what he is planning or what Abel is truly capable of doing. I do know that if he gains full control then no one will be safe. Hell there may no longer be a single shred of me, of my own humanity, left.”

There is a pause, a deep and eerie silence between us after I utter the words. She finally breaks it, asking, “So what are you going to do about it?”

I shrug my shoulders, “I am going to do my best to fight him off but if I can’t then I will do whatever is necessary to end it for good…”

“What does that mean?”

With our eyes locked once more I say, “It means exactly what it sounds like. I just hope it doesn’t come down to that,” I say the words, before turning away, knowing full and damn well that it is going to take a dark turn and that things will never be the same for me or anyone else involved.

I hear the door being pushed open and look up to see Amy starting to leave. I don't try to stop her, she's put up with enough. "Well.. good luck with that. I... I have to go." And I watch her leave, unsure if she believes me, or if she's now more afraid than ever.

_______________________

October 8th, 2016

New York City, New York

“Russian Roulette”

_______________________

“Hello?” After a small exchange over Twitter, I give Katelyn a call, remembering what Abel had said he was going to do. I just wanted to cover my bases just in case I lose control and can’t get it back, “Hey, Katelyn it’s James. Are you sure you’re able to talk right now?”

She lets out a sigh, “Yes, James I’m sure. I agreed that we needed to talk, remember?”

I take a seat on the edge of my bed, holding my phone to my ear as I nod and reply, “Yeah, I do. Sorry. I just have a million things running through my mind right now. It’s hard to keep track.”

Another sigh, “Alright, well what did you want to talk about? If it is about the match, I suggest we stay away from one another, especially for the girls. It would destroy Kelly and I know that is something that you don’t want. I definitely don’t want it. She doesn’t need that.”

She and I have a match coming up where we will be in the ring against one another. I am worried about her. I find it funny that I didn’t care these last few months when Abel has been around. Now that he’s not, I care. I have feelings. I know that if Abel is in control and he sees Katelyn then he is going to make sure he hurts her. Unlike Katelyn and I, Abel doesn’t care for our children. He even threatened to hurt them. Remembering that sends a shiver down my spine. I swallow the worry before giving my response, “I hope you know that I wouldn’t want that either, Katelyn,” I say, placing my face into the palm of my hand, shaking my head slowly from side to side, letting out a sigh of my own, “I care about both of my children. I know that Kiera is afraid of me and honestly…she has every right to be…”

“What does that mean exactly, James?” Katelyn fires back. I don’t hold it against her. I know that she is being very protective over our children. Something that she is very good at. Something I am jealous of her for being, as she is able to be there with them all of the time. She makes sure that they are taken care of, while it is like I can’t be around them.

Out of fear for what Abel might do.

“Just from what you said about me breaking into your apartment, Katelyn. That wasn’t me…”

“How was it not you, James? Connor fucking…” Her voice raises but then there is a pause. She continues, her voice in more of hushed tone, “Connor fucking saw you James. He said he saw you plain as day.”

“I know that he did, but there is something going on with me, Katelyn. I don’t even know if I have time to explain it…”

Katelyn doesn’t give me time to finish, “Well maybe you should try. That could almost help your case, because honestly, I don’t know what the hell is going on with you. You act nice and pleasant, like you give a damn in one moment. But the next, you’re acting like a total fucking psychopath stalking Amy Chastaine backstage and making crazy comments on Twitter.”

“I’m sick, Katelyn. It isn’t drugs or alcohol. I can’t remember the last time I partied hard, but I am sick. Like mentally…” I say, hearing my voice begin to crack, sensing the sadness in my voice and in my words. I run my hand over my face again, taking deep breaths in the process.

“Sick how?” Katelyn asks, sounding deeply concerned now, after months of having highly warranted anger towards me, “You’re not telling me much of anything, James. Stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what is going on.”

I let out a sigh, asking myself if I should really do what I am about to do. I draw in a deep breath, closing my eyes, telling myself that for her safety and the safety of my children, Katelyn has a right to know. I open my eyes and exhale. I begin to speak. Before I know it, words are flying out of my mouth. I tell her about me and my sickness.

I tell her everything.

I tell her about the voices, about Abel and how I lose time. About how Abel wants to gain control. She doesn’t say a word until after I finish speaking. Normally, I tell myself after I’m done, I would feel like a weight has been lifted after telling someone what I’ve had on my chest, but in this instance, my worry has increased. A few more moments pass and Katelyn finally replies, “Jesus…James…oh my God…”

I lower my head, closing my eyes again, “I know, Katelyn…I know.”

“You need to get help, James. Serious fucking help,” she says.

“I know that too. I’ve put it off for a long time and now it seems that I may be running out of time which is why I wanted to talk to you, especially about this match.”

“What do you mean?”

I sigh again, “Abel doesn’t like you, Katelyn. He hates you and wants to hurt you…” My voice trails off as the worry intensifies. I feel like I am going to be fucking sick. I breathe, inhale, exhale, “So, if I get near you, please get away from me. Hell, just stay away from me if you can. And if you get the chance to take me out…take it.”

She responds, “James this is fucking crazy. I knew something was up with you. I didn’t think it’d be something like this. In saying that, you can’t ask me to hurt you or take you out. I can’t do that. I have to worry about our children and the impact it’d have on them. You have to understand that.”

“I’m not telling Ace and I’d prefer you not tell him either. He will run his mouth to the entire world and I don’t want anyone knowing how fucked up I am. I don’t need that sort of shit, Katelyn. I hope you understand that. It could trigger Abel and that could be the catalyst for him sticking around a lot longer than anyone would want him to. In saying that, Katelyn…I am begging with you…take me out if the opportunity arises. Crack me in the head with a fucking chair, Call Ace over so you two can both take me out. Dump me out over the ropes onto my head.”

“James…stop…please just fucking stop. This is too much. I can’t listen to anymore of this…You’re asking me to hurt you…the father of my children. I can’t do that. I can’t….I won’t…” She says as I sense the sadness in her voice. I picture her in her apartment, holding her phone, looking at our children before turning away, staring is disbelief.

“I know I am asking a lot of you, but it is for the greater good of everyone involved.”

“But what if you don’t lose control anymore…what if it is you in that ring…” Her voice trails off.

“But it may not be. I know he is getting stronger.”

“But how will I be able to tell a difference James?”

I frown, letting out a sigh, “You know me better than most, Katelyn. You may hate it but it is true. You know me better than anyone else in that ring. If I seem different…if I seem like I did when I was facing Ace then run. Steer clear of me until you get an open shot…or if someone has an open shot you tell them to take it…”

There is a silence between us. A few moments pass and then Katelyn finally speaks, “I don’t think I can do that…James…” Another few moments of silence, “I have to go, James,” I try to plead with her, telling her that I don’t want anything to happen to her but she just says, “I have to go. Bye,” And then there is nothing but silence.

I bring the phone from my ear and that is when the silence ends, “You truly are fucking weak,” Hearing the voice, I feel a mixture of anger and fear wash over me. It’s not my father, “You think telling her and Amy to stay away is going to save them, James? How foolish can you be?”

It’s Abel…

“I’m not being foolish Abel,” I say, as I slowly turn around on the bed, finding him sitting against the wall, a smirk on his face as our eyes lock, “I am doing what I have to in order to protect innocent people. Innocent people that I care for, deep down, even if you don’t. I am in control, Abel. Not you…”

His smirk widens into a full grin before he throws his head back and laughs. Abel rolls his eyes as the laughter continues. Once it dies down, he looks back at me, staring sideways, his grin remains, “Is that what you think? You honestly think you’re in control?” He pauses and I don’t respond, “You DO think you’re in control. James, let me let you in on a little secret. You’ve rarely been in control.”

I stand up from the bed, keeping my eyes on Abel, “You’re lying. That is what you do. You fucking lie. You want me to believe everything that you say. I’ve learned, Abel, that you are a fucking snake. You can’t be trusted. All of these years…especially these last few months…you’ve fed me nothing but fucking lies.”

This causes Abel’s grin to fade. He pushes himself off of the floor in a quick movement, and now there are only inches between us, “You are so fucking full of shit, James. So full of shit. If you think that I’ve fed you lies then you wouldn’t have digested them so easily. You’re a lot smarter than you think, so for you to say that…it is like a smack in the fucking face. I gave you truth and you were the one who lied to me…” He says, shoving me back, “You said we would have fun, that you would do what you were born to do, which is to terrorize this world, starting with this God forsaken city. Yet, you did nothing…All you did was let me down, James…”

I take a few steps back. In doing so, I recall Amy and how she backed away from me the other night, before I say, “That is why you’ve been fighting me. That is why you left me. You’ve shut me off, just as I shut you off years ago. You’re doing the same thing to me, not letting me know what you’re doing.”

Abel smirks, “Guilty…guilty as charged…”

“Why?” I ask.

Another laugh, “Why the hell not, James? You weren’t doing it and I am typically the one who has to take charge. You wanted to become a monster. You wanted people to fear you in your little wrestling industry. You weren’t able to do this on your own. You were only seen as a spoiled brat throwing a goddamn temper tantrum. But with my help, with me…carrying you…you became a World Champion. You reached your full potential, but as soon as I stopped carrying you, you dropped the ball. You showed you couldn’t handle things on your own.”

“Fuck you, Abel. I can do things on my own,” I say, this time taking a step forward, feeling highly agitated, “I thought I couldn’t make it without you, but now that I have discovered your true colors, I don’t want or need you around. You’re nothing more than a voice in my fucking head. All I have to do is turn you off.”

Abel lowers his gaze from mine and shakes his head, letting out a deep breath, “I’m afraid that is incorrect my boy,” He says before lifting his head up once more, “I’m also afraid that I am much more than a voice in your head, James. I am much, much more than that,” He says, with a sneer.

“And what’s that?”

“We don’t have time for this shit, James. There is so much that I need to do. I have to make up for your mistakes and clean up the mess you made. Right now, you are just standing in my way. If anyone needs to be shut off, it is you…” Abel says, taking a step forward to where we now stand nose to nose.

I scoff, “Is that so? Abel, I told you that I am in control. You’re not. This is my life, not yours,” Before I can say anything else, knuckle connects with my skull and everything goes to black, after I fall to the floor, feeling the impact in the back of my head as it works its way up.

_______________________

Staring down the barrel of the gun, it is hard for me to not want anything but the end. This needs to end, I tell myself, repeating it over and over. Abel stands before, his hand gripping the gun as our eyes now lock. I can see the intensity in his eyes as he says, “It seems we have ourselves quite the predicament, James.”

He removes the gun. I spit, trying to rid my tongue and mouth of the metallic taste swirling around in there. I look back at him as he takes a seat at the kitchen table, sitting across from me now. My head throbs and my ears are ringing. I am not sure what all happened after I blacked out but from the way I feel, I got my ass kicked. Silence rests in between us for a few moments as the throbbing in my head slowly dies down. Once it becomes bearable, I reply, “And what sort of predicament is that, Abel?”

He smirks, “I am sure you’ve heard in movies and those ridiculous cartoons you watched as a child that this place just isn’t big enough for the two of us. That little phrase applies more to this situation…our situation…than I think you realize.”

I spit again, “So you want to get rid of me? Is that it? This is my head, Abel. Have you forgotten that?”

He sighs before placing the gun in the middle of the table, pointing it at me. I stare at the barrel before looking back up at him, “I didn’t want to get rid of you, James, but you are stalling. There are much bigger things that need to happen. Hell that have already happened, and you are simply…in the way.”

I glance down at the gun again, “I’m not stalling. I’m doing what is right, Abel. I tried to be the way you wanted me to be, but I couldn’t. It cost the life of a young woman who didn’t deserve to die. It nearly cost the life of my mentor…a man I saw as a father figure. I beat him to near death…”

Abel cuts me off, “And then you became a chicken-shit. You didn’t pull the trigger. You fabricated some sort of bullshit story and took him to a fucking hospital. That is a pussy move. That showed me just how far you have fallen. You once were a cold hearted killer. I saw it when you were a boy and the way you watched Kismet slip away. I thought the same would be true for you now as a man, but then I realized…just as it was when you thought you were a drug runner…that all of this…it was nothing more than some sort of fucking fantasy for you.”

I fire back, “It was a fantasy that you wanted me to live. I am not a killer. I know what I did to Kismet. I know and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I have blood on my hands. I get that. I don’t want anymore. This was all fun and games, Abel but enough is enough. It has to stop.”

Abel chuckles for a moments, before the smile and laughter fades, a glare forming on his face, “It wasn’t fun and games for me. It will never be enough. Not until I quench my…our…blood thirst. What I have been trying to get you to do, what I have been pushing for you to do…it is…your destiny…” He looks down and shakes his head before looking back up, “I am not going to let you piss it all away,” He then reaches forward, grabbing the gun and spinning the chamber before closing it back.

As I watch it go around and around, “What the hell are you doing, Abel?”

He shakes his head, “Oh no, this isn’t what I am doing. This is what we are doing. This is what we NEED to do. You got rid of your father and your grandmother. You got rid of Kismet. Now, we…yes WE are going to get rid of the weak link. It is either going to be you or me, James.”

“So what…” I say, glancing down at the gun then back at Abel, “Are we going to play some Russian Roulette? Loser becomes a voice in the other’s head?”

Abel laughs again, “Great minds think alike,” He stops before staring at the gun as it rests on the table, with it pointing at him. He grabs it, puts it to his head and pulls the trigger. I hear it click. Now the gun is at my head. Abel squeezes the trigger for me, and there is a click, “Oh, we are both lucky.”

“Abel stop…please…this doesn’t have to happen. Things don’t have to be like this.”

He puts the gun to his head and once again, nothing. He places it in my hand, “Its okay James. Now you try,” I want to point it at him and fire, but I can’t. I do as Abel says, pointing the gun at my head, pressing it deep into my skin. I feel tears building up in my eyes, knowing that the end is coming. I want it, but not this way. I hear Abel whisper, as he presses his hand against mine, “Its okay, James. I will help you. I will consider this act of carrying you as a last request…” He chuckles, forcing me to pull the trigger, and I hear it click.

Abel kneels before me, pressing it back to his head, squeezing the trigger with no hesitation. I look at him, knowing what is to come. He goes to put the gun to my head but I pull it away from him. I hold it in my hands, staring down at it, “I know something you don’t seem to realize, Abel. Do you know what that is?”

He has a soft grin on his face, excitement in his eyes, “What is it, James?”

I smirk and shake my head as my smirk fades, “You’re a disease of which there is no cure. You will always be around. This game is pointless, just like my life has been. I have never lived for the moment. I have always been sad. I have done drugs to try and treat my sadness, but that’s never helped. You came along and helped me. I’m lost and I always have been,” I press the gun to my head and squeeze the trigger.

Click.

“You were the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me…but I’m weak, Abel…” I squeeze again…

Abel shouts, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?”

Click.

I grin, accepting my weaknesses, accepting defeat, giving up because Abel is a disease. He will always be around and I have no choice but to accept it, “Medication and therapy…I know that they won’t work. They haven’t yet. You are in my head. You are in my blood. You are in the blackest parts of my heart. There is no getting rid of you…” I say, pressing the gun against my temple once more, “So what am I doing?” I let out a sigh, “I’m letting you win…” And I squeeze the trigger.

I watch as his head explodes. I sit back, watching as his body slumps over, slowly falling off the chair. It crumples to the ground and then there is nothing, “You knew it was the right call, James. You sacrificed yourself for the greater good that deep down, you always believed in…” I press my hand to his face and I lean down, kissing his cheek. I then push myself up off of the floor. I walk into the bathroom, where I turn on the light to find MY reflection. Looking into my eyes, I can’t help but smile.

I am free.

I am alive.

I…am in…

…Control…

_______________________

"S H O O T"

_______________________

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear…

Yes, you all know that you missed yours truly, James Evans…the Devil at your service. I had to refresh the memories of everyone involved with the SCW of who, and what, I am. If I hadn’t decimated Shaun Cruze before your very eyes, you would have been left with the image of Damian Angel in his sad attempts of trying to salvage the remnants of what used to be a promising career as your image of the Devil.

You thought that I was going to disappear. Go ahead and admit it. You thought I was just going to pack up my things and go after the SCW Championship was stolen from me, but no…I am still here. The SCW has kept me out of the ring because they know that I am dangerous. They know that I am the personification of brutality and evil. Syren managed to take advantage of a brief “mental glitch” so to speak. All that will be rectified in due time. And that is all that I have…

…Time…

I am not going to appear before you and talk about falling from the top so fast. I will leave that to Ace Marshall, who spent weeks sulking in a corner, questioning the meaning of life and whether or not it would’ve been meaningful and worth it after I drove through a barricade wall before choking the very life out of him on the grandest stage of them all…but you all know that story. But hey, I can suck it because I lost the belt, right? Oh that stings, Ace. I don’t know how I will be able to come back from that one. But I lost the belt and we should all forget how I embarrassed Ace Marshall. We should forget how the world clamored for Ace to defeat me in the Rise to Greatness main event, and keep the SCW Championship, yet I stopped that from happening. We should forget how every single time Ace and I are in the ring, he got hurt. He was left lying, writhing in pain and agony. But let’s forget all of that because Ace is Ace. He is the “most entertaining performer” to ever grace a wrestling ring. We need to focus on the fact that Ace has dominated the SCW since returning at the End of the Year special.

Ace is one of the biggest superstars in this company…hell in this industry. He has dominated this past year, like no other, but it has truly become one of those “If you miss it, you’re not really missing anything special” type of deals when it comes to Ace Marshall. Ace is entertaining to a certain degree, but anymore the idea of taking a bathroom break is more entertaining than watching an Ace Marshall match. It isn’t because Ace Marshall sucks in the ring, and it may not be because I hate his sorry ass with a fiery passion. It is because it’s the same song and dance with Ace. From the end of 2015 all the way to Rise to Greatness, Ace was constantly evolving in terms of performing. He was consistently upping his game and raising the stakes. It led him to the SCW Championship, after vanquishing another dangerous individual in her own right, Rachel Foxx. It led him to the main event of Rise to Greatness, finally cementing his status as a main eventer. A status he should have held long ago. It put him on T-shirts, with his merchandise flying off of the shelves. It led him to becoming an icon, a name that became synonymous with the SCW. But then, I came out of nowhere, taking it all away from him, crippling your hero, your icon.

I told you Ace, that things wouldn’t be the same. You ignored me and my words, only for those words to haunt you as they become more than words. They became truth and the truth is hard for you to bear. You lost to me, the man that lived in your shadow, but on the night you were to be “immortalized”, the night that was meant to be your biggest and greatest achievement, you…lived…in…mine. I pissed all over your coronation, and had my own. I told you I would take it all away and I did just that. You know it and it ails you beyond anything else. That is why, despite your talent and all that you can do in the ring, you’re not as special as you once were. Your jokes aren’t as funny. You’re using your little girlfriend as a crutch to help further your evolution.

All you are doing now is regressing, Ace. I elevated you just as you elevated me. I took it a step further, destroying your iconic image and humanized you. You may think that I was too weak to finish the job, but ask yourself this…Was I really or did I just spare you?

Let me save you the suspense. I spared you so I could watch you walk around, humbled. And let tell you, it has been quite the delight. Just as it was a delight for me to say that you need to beat me. I look forward to facing you and beating you once again, but you need to beat me. You need it personally because you are not yourself. You’re regressing as I said. You go around saying you don’t care about your matches, acting like you don’t even want to be here anymore, like you are going through the motions and that is because you need me involved. You need to beat me and outdo me in order to evolve again. You need to dance with, and overcome, the Devil that is standing on your shoulders, weighing you down. And trust me, it won’t be an easy task and I am sure you will try and make it sound. And why is that? I will tell you. It is because I hold all the cards and in this game, Ace’s aren’t wild. Kings are and I am a king ready to run the gauntlet in order to reclaim my crown.

And that is exactly what I intend to do Syren. You stole from me and that just doesn’t sit well. You must be punished, because as they say…crime doesn’t pay. You being champion is more criminal than the thought of Shilo Valiant or Shaun Cruze being involved in this match. Shilo has been to the top of the mountain on a few occasions, dominating the landscape just as you have and while he is not the Shilo of old, the blood stained Jester has proven he can come out of nowhere to pull off the big win. He and I have that in common. I am sure I can find, deep within my black heart, to respect for that. What I cannot respect him for is his flimsy, and highly laughable, attempt at being a villain. He gloated about Rise to Greatness being his show, yet his TV title match was forgotten about in the shadows of this year’s main event. Yes, Rise to Greatness was where you Shilo…reigned supreme being in my shadow. I guess being a thorn in your side is still a constant in the rivalry we’ve developed over the years. You can go back to fighting over things you believe to be your property as you were doing with my precious Amy, but you’ve lost your right to my championship. For all you have done, for all of your accomplishments as you are one of the most highly decorated superstars this company has ever seen, your time in the main event is over. Your glory days, my little Devil-Lite court jester, are over and Syren, I suggest you begin counting down the days because you will be joining Shilo on the voyage, I am sure despite the hatred we share for you, he will at least save you a seat.

Someone else who may save you a seat on the voyage into the abyss I plan on sending all of you, could be Shaun Cruze. But then again, it depends on whether or not he is in “Renegade Mode”. If he is, then you have to know Cruze will be coming into the gauntlet, hungry and ready to tear your head off for taking the SCW Championship away from him a few years ago, He showed glimpses of that attitude when and I met just a few nights ago, but Shaun showed a bit of weakness, which is his penchant for honor. I showed that I don’t give a good goddamn about honor…didn’t I, Amy? She found out, just as I am sure many of you all know that I am not afraid to pull the trigger. You may think that I am Syren but fear not, you will get an exceptional education when I take the hero, Shaun Cruze, and beat him from pillar to post, showing him that while we are both former World Champions, I will prove that I am hungrier than he is. It’ll be like a Vietnam flashback for the talented Cruze as I force him to re-live the final moments of Taking Hold of the Flame, when I stomped his Hollywood movie hunk of a face in. I will take great pleasure in doing far worse, to ensure his patience continues to wear thing. I mean, hell it’s been over two years. What is a little while longer, am I right, Shaun?

You see Syren, you and I started a game that I intend to finish. You called me out for choking the life out of you and leaving you lying in the middle of the ring at Apocalypse. But you see, I don’t play by your rules. I do not bend to your wants and demands. You can call me a creeper, a psycho, or any of the never ending stream of miniscule insults that have been hurled my way. Like bullets to Superman, that garbage just bounces off of me. I’ve been called worse yet here I am, embracing all of that hate with open arms because sticks and stones may break my bones, but I can break yours a lot faster. I am a monster Syren, and I want your blood. Like a shark in the water, I have picked up your scent and now I need a taste. That is why I am fully prepared to welcome everyone else involved into this gauntlet, because while they may see it simply as a match to get a title shot, I see it as an execution. They are the cattle walking straight into the slaughter.

Yes, that means I will take out the mother of my own children. I will cripple her if need be. She will probably be smart enough to stay away. Katelyn has many talents, in and out of the ring, which is why she probably has more than three kids calling her mommy in this world. She became a world champion in the IWC, turning her career around after making her time with the SCW a bigger joke than Rayvn versus Ace. But for all of her talents, I am quite certain she has mastered developing eyes in the back of her head which means, just like the last time we fucked, she won’t see…me…coming…

But what about you Rayvn? Will you see me coming? The only reason I am asking is because I overheard you say that you will always have your eyes on me. I couldn’t help but laugh at that. The reason being is because I know that up until this year’s Taking Hold of the Flame, I was never on your fucking radar. You’ve always brushed me off, just as you brushed Alexis Quinne off, until she took matters into her own hands and made you take notice. Alexis and I have that in common, as we came out of nowhere, putting everyone on notice, making you and everyone else put their eyes on us. But unlike every ounce of pint sized fun Alexis has, I take no issue in looking you in the eye while driving a blade into your abdomen. Laugh at that if you must, Rayvn. Alexis has proven she can get things done on her own, but she is becoming more and more reliant on her band of groupies. But me…I fight on my own. I like having blood on my hands. I wear it like an Army patch. I know you’re a threat. Your accolades and your record spell it out for me. You may not take me seriously and if not, we can blame it on becoming complacent. Maybe it is because you’ve broken records and held all of the major championships and now you’re in a state of regression with Ace. Maybe it’s not just me you don’t take seriously. You did make a mockery of the sport you wanted to learn and become great it, so it’s hard to think you take anything serious. If that is the case, and you have indeed become complacent, I will forgive you for breaking my heart as imagining all of the destruction we could’ve created used to bring a smile to my face. Now I will smile while showing you no mercy. Quinne and I share that trait as well. We will do all we can to push people beyond their limits. I look forward to the opportunity to push the both of you beyond yours and clipping your wings little Rayvn, so you will fly no more.

Though I am sure you want to fly high, don’t you my little snow queen? Oh Selena, you have been the Queen of the Ring and the SCW Adrenaline Champion. You gave that title a shot of adrenaline earlier this year by going through me. You make the fans believe and you give Ace Marshall a reason to repeat himself over and over again. You are coming off of huge wins over my precious Kennedy Street as well as Kelcey Wallace. You are feeling on top of the world I am sure and I’m also sure that you are full of belief as you are preparing to run the gauntlet and become the number one contender to the SCW Championship. You are ready to make true believers out of all of us, aren’t you? Well this time I am holding the glass shard and I am ready to litter the canvas with blood instead of snow. Unlike you, ice isn’t a gimmick for me. I am a cold hearted son of a bitch, Selena. And unlike you, no one claims that I am one of the fastest rising stars because they are too busy talking about you and shouting your catchphrases. You have done a lot in your time with this company, taking the SCW and the competition by storm. But I turned five years worth of bullshit on its side, just like this company when I earned the right to main event Rise to Greatness. I continued that trend when I nearly ended Ace’s life and became the SCW Champion. That is something you crave and you BELIEVE in your heart of hearts that you deserve this opportunity. I won’t deny that, but I will deny you a title shot because I am not quite finished with the SCW title and the main event scene. You have it in you to become a world champion and to add another jewel to your crown and parade it around like the queen that you are. But right now, this is one battle you cannot handle because I am not the James Evans from earlier this year. I have undergone a metamorphosis, Selena. As I said earlier, I am a cold hearted son of a bitch. I am a monster and what I have done up this point…it’s been child’s play. None of you have seen anything yet. I am just now sharpening my claws and these fangs, ready to rip apart the hopes and dreams of people such as yourself, Selena and you can believe that. If I manage to reverse that little blemish on my record against you and stop you from getting MY world title shot then that will be absolute perfection.

And it would be so totally awesome, so totally perfect…it would give everyone else a reason to be so totally jealous if Kelcey Wallace stepped foot into the ring against Syren for the SCW World Championship. I mean you and her are about the same, Syren. Kelcey is perfection and wants everyone to be jealous of her and isn’t that your catchphrase, Zoe? You two are like peas and carrots. You’ve both held the SCW Championship and seem to have the main event scene locked in a stranglehold. But I am the one who does the choking around here, so it is time I strangle the SCW and the main event scene, choking the very life out of it, ridding it of perfection, letting it know that nothing can save it as perfection and hope…those are nothing more than concepts that people are fools for believing in. The only thing we have is truth and the truth is, Kelcey…I once held you in high regard and not because of your accolades. You have accomplished a lot in such a short span of time, winning Taking Hold of the Flame and ending Blitzkrieg’s reign of terror while taking the SCW Championship as your own. You want to prove yourself once again, entering first into this gauntlet. Should our paths cross, I will overlook the fact I was attracted to you and that we had dinner, and that I had sexual thoughts running through my mind, thoughts that you couldn’t even begin to comprehend, thoughts that would cause you to wake up in the middle of the night to turn the light on to see if it was safe. But this is reality and you are not safe, Kelcey. Entering at number one is admirable, but it will prove to be a fatal flaw my dear. I am not shooting off of the mouth with empty threats and broken promises. I know you want to lead an exodus of perfection and reclaim the SCW title but there is the problem. I am here to get back what I spent more time fighting for than you ever had to. I am here to make sure you and the rest of the SCW and its fan base haven’t forgotten me. They can sleep on me all that they want, but in the end, they will realize that they are all living in a nightmare orchestrated by me.

Because what is the alpha without omega? What is a queen without her crown? What is perfection when it is flawed? A man who preaches honor but once fought without it? A jester without his jokes? A stranger trying to find a house to call her own?

Unimpressive.

You have all had your time and your praise but you all need a wake up call. I know you can all be broken so I am not impressed by your accolades or your nicknames, or your catchphrases. This is my time. I shook the SCW down to its very core and changed the landscape for three months. I turned everything upside down because I am not supposed to be in this position, but I outlasted all of you to get what I truly deserved it. Now you are all living on borrowed time in the lime light, as you’ve all had your time in the sun…

…now I get to ensure that you all burn…

…in my light…

…Quote me on that, Christy, you will be looking to steal the by regaining the Adrenaline Championship for a third time while earning a shot at the title you held many years ago. But you will not be safe either. You will fight as hard as you can, already being battle tested after the war you will endure with Casey Holiday. Your will shall be strong, but in the end, you will succumb...to me. Once you are knocked back down a few rungs, you will have no choice but the embrace the madness that will come as you watch me step back into that challenging psotion before taking back what is mine.