“I’m down…digging through…

My old muscles looking for a clue…”

The Devil In Me: “What's To Come”

The dust has settled, and a winner was announced. It was not a hero. It was not a blonde bombshell or some bad, bad girl. A perfect ten did not take it all. A hell-cat nor a diva so sexy and so flawless did not grasp hold of the flame.

And it most certainly was not a little red devil.

It was I and I alone. No one saw it coming. No one gave me a chance in hell. And that was all fine and dandy. I didn’t plan on winning, but that was most of the previously mentioned planned on it. They came out and shouted their bold claims at the top of their lungs, making sure their words would be heard and that their presence would be felt.

I walked in and did exactly what I said I would do. I hurt others, but most importantly, I survived. I survived thirty nine other superstars, outlasting all of them. They were not 39 pounds of flesh. There was no slaughterhouse. Hell-cats were skinned. Perfect tens realized that they weren’t so perfect after all. They are covered in blemishes. And the sexy ones and the flawless ones…well, their flaws got in their way, while I earned my position as the true number one contender to the richest prize in this industry, the trinket with the most gold, the most prestige…

…The SCW Championship…

Rise to Greatness is on the horizon and I must march through the battlefields along my journey to the main event I EARNED through SURVIVAL.

The first obstacle laid before comes in the form of a Red Devil, a she Devil who once haunted me in my dreams, drowning me along the rest of the vixens circling above me like vultures, waiting for the right moment to pick me apart. This silver tongued Devil will surely be ready to rip my heart from my chest so she can watch me gasp my last breath and die, so she can press a foot down on my lifeless body and shout to the stars and everyone listening that she beat me.

She will come out and say that she is the rightful number one contender. That she should have won Taking Hold of the Flame. That she was cheated. That she should have done this and that she should have done that. She will give you a very believable story to state her case as to why she should be in the main event at Rise to Greatness.

And she may very well beat me. She has the capabilities. She possesses the skill. She is the longest reigning Adrenaline Champion on record. I know I can be beaten. I won’t deny that, but you see, I don’t fear loss. I have lost fights, but I have survived. Little Miss Daisy Lee will be looking to hurt me, to maim me, and pin me in the center of the ring to prove a point.

But you see, I find that funny man. I really do. When Rayne comes out and goes on her little diatribes, she basically makes it seem like the rest of the SCW roster isn’t fit to lace her boots. She makes out like she could destroy us all in one single breath. And yes that is all fine and dandy, but when she spews that bullshit my way, I laugh because to me it is all kid games. I know she can beat me. I’ve been in the ring with her before. I know she can hurt me. I have felt her wrath a few times, especially in the rumble. But her words and her actions don’t line up. Her words create fear and build up this preview of inevitable devastation. If those words rang true, then names such as David Helms, Selena Frost, Rachel Foxx…so on and so forth…those names would have never been mentioned and those faces would have never been seen again after they crossed paths with this so called “Devil”.

And no, I’m not knocking little Miss Daisy, because she have proven she has what it takes to get it done in the ring. She is quite the force to be reckoned with. Being the longest reigning SCW Adrenaline Champion on record and she’s won more than she has lost. But I’d like to let her in on a little secret. With all of her accomplishments and accolades thus far, none of it means I have to fear her, because I don’t. She and I lasted eighty minutes or more at Taking Hold of the Flame, and the world pegged her as the winner, stating that Rayne would lay waste and make it all the way to the end. Just as she stated when you delivered your message to the world and the SCW…but guess what?

She didn’t.

I did.

Now that we have ourselves booked to face one another, I have no doubt she is talking to her mother and she is telling Rayne that she will need to make up for the mistakes her daughter made in the rumble. That she will need to destroy me and show why Rayne deserves to face Ace Marshall at Rise to Greatness. That she will need to make an example out of me, why I shouldn’t be anywhere near the SCW World Championship. And her lips will probably curl up into that sadistic grin she carries when little Miss Daisy is bashing her opponents, as you tell yourself that you are going to do just that. That Daisy is going to bury me in the center of the ring and show the world that I am some sort of joke.

Well I’ve got a news flash for her and anyone else who doubts me.

You. Are. Not. Taking. This. From. Me.

If they do not understand, I will be sure that they do before this is all over.

What Rayne expects after being in the SCW for two years is something I have fought for…something I have scratched, clawed, bit, and bled for over the last six years. What she demands to have is something I have waited for over the last six years. I will be damned if I let it go to someone else after I went the distance and EARNED it. It wasn’t luck. It was intelligence. I didn’t shout anthems of dominance. I didn’t make it seem like the Taking Hold of the Flame meant nothing and that everything should go to me. No, I leave to people like Rayne and like Kennedy Street. I find it funny that those two hate each other yet they are so much alike. They want and they want…They expect and They expect…Rayne will preach so much about the world and what she hates about it, yet she, like Kennedy, is nothing more than a product of the world, a childish brat acting out, begging and pleading for that one item she want more than anything else…

She would do anything to have it…

Even steal it…

But Rayne…she is not stealing what I earned. I hope that goes through that thick skull of hers, bypassing all Aiken’s bullshit as well as her mother’s.

She will have to kill me to get what I have attained but she won’t do it. For all of the red head’s talk, for all of the times she’s been called, and has called herself the Devil…at Breakdown, she, along with everyone else, will realize when I look her in the eye and laugh in her face that…

The Devil ain’t got nothing on me.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Journal Entry

June 11th, 2016

This is my first journal entry in a very long time. I am doing this for myself. Not because my psychologist recommended it. I want to know more about myself and by gathering and making a collection of my thoughts, I feel that is possible. I am wrestler. I am on TV every single week, making me a celebrity. I have more money than I know what to do with, not only from wrestling but from my family’s estate. I can be sociable. I’ve gone to bars and clubs, meeting people; taking women back to my hotel room and fucking their brains out before sending them on their way. I’ve done magazine photo shoots as well as interviews. I have done all of the stuff that a normal celebrity would do. Hell, I have even given to charity even though I have hated the experience. It is not because I am greedy because I could give a damn about money. It has never mattered to me even if I have pretended otherwise. Being rich comes with the territory but it doesn’t define who I am.

I could care less about being on TV even if I have been quoted as saying differently in the past. I wasn’t embracing who I am. I have always been uncomfortable in the so called normal settings to say the least. That is why I feel like the change within me recently has started to occur. My mind is sick of me playing the game so to speak. It is tired of me being some pretty boy fashion trend. As this change has occurred, I have begun to feel more and more alive. The change has startled me and I question it from time to time because it feels new to me in some ways. Some aspects of it feel very familiar. The feeling of being lethal and causing havoc and inflicting pain…I’ve felt all of this before but not to this extent. I used to be able to keep those urges and desires calm, but now…they keep me up at night. The bloodlust has crept into my dreams, tormenting me, taunting me, urging me to go out into the night to make those dreams come true.

Those desires become stronger when I find myself at a wrestling event or preparing for one. I have had the urge to kill a man I once thought of as a friend…his name is Ace Marshall. I have wanted to gut him like a goddamn fish and dance around in his blood. Just a few short hours ago I hurt him and choked him out. That calmed the blood lust for a little bit. I have tried sleeping but the urges continued, creeping into my dreams as I previously mentioned.

But the dream had nothing to do with Ace Marshall. No the dream focused on my bloodlust for the female population of the SCW roster, in particularly…Daisy Lee aka Red Rayne.

It was a continuation of a dream I had a few weeks ago. In the dream I was in a pool, sitting on a float drinking whiskey while most of the SCW female superstars were swimming towards me. Fire encircled the pool so I couldn’t escape. In my dream, I don’t believe I wanted to if I’m being perfectly honest. When they finally reached me, they began to attack my float and that when I decided to fight back, trying to keep my head above water so to speak, only for my dream version of Red Rayne to burst through the water, grabbing me and pulling me under, leaving me to drown, leaving me to die. But I didn’t die. I was saved by my Kismet. She helped me swim to the surface and I broke though the water, only to find it was only Kismet and I. My tormentors had vanished.

As I climbed out of the pool and caught my breath, only one thing repeated over and over…

…My need for revenge…

- - - - - - - - - - -

May 27th, 2016

Toronto, Canada

Kismet and I wait outside of the hotel where Katelyn is staying, because I know Ace is inside with her. With my family. I visualize it over and over in my head. All of them laughing and playing. Ace getting the love I never really received from Katelyn. The enjoyment I don’t seem to truly share with my daughters. I don’t know if it is because I am devoid of almost all emotion, or if my girls don’t know how to really be themselves around me. I tell myself it could be the fear of me leaving them again, which I am not going to do. I don’t care about much but my daughters…I do care for them. I feel a connection with them, especially Kelly though I am not sure why that is.

Kismet leans in from the backseat, “You sure you want to do this…here? In front of your children?”

I respond, keeping my eyes locked in on the hotel entrance, “I am not going to do anything to Ace. Especially not here. When I do hurt Ace, it is going to be on television, for the entire world to see. I am here to see my girls. Especially Katelyn.”

“Why Katelyn?” I hear Kismet ask.

“Because,” I begin, looking at her through the mirror, “There is something that I need to ask her. I want to hear her answer.”

“And what’s that going to do exactly, James?”

I smirk, “In a way, it will be like getting her permission. She cares for Ace, as do my daughters. Depending on what she says, the severity of the injuries Ace is going to suffer by my hand…”Just then I grow silent as I watch Ace step out from the hotel entrance. He has always available goofy shit-eating grin on his face. Looking happy. Making me sick. I watch as he leaves and then I wait a few moments, before getting out of the car.

Kismet speaks, “Do you want me to go with you?”

I turn to look at her, my Kismet. She has been a source of my newfound strength. I reach out and my fingertips graze her hair, “You can come, but don’t say anything. Let me do the talking. This is between me and Katelyn. No one else. Deal?”

She rolls her eyes, which brings a small smile to my face as she says, “Fine. I’ll be a good girl.”

“Good,” I say before we get out of the rental car. I walk towards the hotel like a man with a purpose, a man on a mission. I had told Katelyn a few days before that I wanted to see Kelly and Keira. It took a bit of begging in order for her to say yes. After watching Ace leave, I understood why. She doesn’t want Ace and I around one another, especially not in front of the girls. They both have this terrible idea of me, but like with Kelcey Wallace’s idea of perfection, it is nothing. Just talk. I go inside and take the elevator. Kismet stands beside me, pressing her head against my shoulder, taking my hand in hers. I do not fight it. I enjoy embracing it.

The elevator opens and we walk down the hallway before reaching Katelyn’s room. I draw in a deep breath, preparing myself for what is about to happen. Kismet leans up and kisses my cheek, “It’s going to be alright, James. I’m here if you need me. Just remember that.”

When Kismet stops speaking, another voice in the form of a whisper chimes into my other ear, “You’re stronger than you realize, James. Don’t forget that.”

I exhale then knock on the door. I hear the girls scream and cheer. I hear Katelyn tell them to calm down. I sense they are all huddled behind the door and when it opens, I see that I was right. Kelly and Keira’s eyes light up when they see me. Katelyn cracks a tiny grin. I tell myself that she wasted all of her excitement on seeing Ace before she invites me inside. Keira takes me by the hand and walks me into the living room area. Once there, I drop to my knees and hug my daughters before something catches my eye, resulting in my grip around them loosening up.

It’s a picture.

I lean back and look at my beautiful girls before asking, “Is that a picture I see?”

Kelly nods her head excitedly.

Katelyn speaks, “Yeah they’ve been coloring quite a bit. Especially Kelly. She is my…” She pauses and I feel the veins in my arms pulse as my heart beat picks up, pumping blood out of anger as she continues, “Our…little artist.”

I nod then look at Kelly, “Can I see it?”

Kelly’s smile enlarges as she rushes over and grabs the picture before returning to me. She presses her back into my chest as she leans into me. Keira does the same as Kelly begins to describe the picture, her finger moving from the right to the left, “That’s Kayla and that’s Kiera. This is me and this is Kayla’s daddy…”

Fuck him, I think to myself. I hear Kismet laugh in the background as Kelly continues, “This is Mommy and this is you daddy!!!” She says before leaning up and kissing me on the cheek. My heart beat slows and the veins sink back into my arms as the anger dies down, but only for a few moments as Kelly explains the other portion of the picture, “And here is Uncle Ace…”

Keira says, “He’s in a dog house…”

I smirk, “What a perfect place for him to be in…”

Katelyn chimes in, her voice showcasing her slight agitation, “James…”

I nod and put my hand up, “Sorry. So why is Ace in the dog house?” I ask, doing my best to actually give a shit about anything concerning Ace.

Kelly quickly responds, “He hides in there so me, Kiera, and Kayla can play with him anytime we want. I love Uncle Ace.”

Kiera throws in her two cents, “I love him too.”

I hear Katelyn chuckle as she speaks, “We all love him, girls. Don’t we, James?”

I ignore the question as I kiss both Kelly and Keira on the tops of the heads before whispering to them, “Can you guys go and play in your room so mommy and daddy can have a talk?”

Keira turns to me, “Will you come play with us afterwards?”

I nod, “Of course sweetheart. Now run along…”

I stand up, watching the girls run off into their bedroom, closing the door a little bit behind them. I then turn to Katelyn who stands with her arms crossed and a slight scowl on her face, “Not going to say that you love Ace in front of the girls, James? Real classy.”

I smirk as I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kismet go to say something but she doesn’t when I shake my head. I let out a sigh then lock eyes with Katelyn, “So, what? You want me to lie to them? I’m not going to do that. Besides, I told them a few weeks ago that Ace and I aren’t really friends anymore.”

She rolls her eyes, “That’s not cool. Don’t drag them into any bullshit between you and Ace. Even though I don’t think Ace has a problem. It’s just you.”

I roll my eyes this time, “Of course he doesn’t. He gets to be around my family and everyone loves him. It is all about him. If it’s not then he bails.”

“You have no room to talk when it comes to bailing, James,” She fires back before walking into the kitchen area. I follow. She grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge then turns to me, “Look, I don’t want to fight. I am so tired of that. I’ve been tired of that. If that is what you came here to do then please leave.”

I scoff, “You think I want to fight, Katelyn? I don’t. I know that we will never be the way we once were, but I am not going to stand around and pretend that I’m okay with Ace fucking Marshall being around my daughters.”

“It’s funny you say that. He’s been better to them than you ever have been. Up until the last few months, you’ve been a fucking ghost to them. I’ve had to raise them on my own.”

“Well,” I say, shaking my head, “Maybe that wouldn’t have been the case if I had known you were pregnant from the start instead you being a conniving…” I stop, letting out a sigh, “We can’t seem to help ourselves can we? We are toxic for one another.”

Silence falls over us for a few moments. I hear Kismet telling me to calm down and keep my cool. She tells me that I need to think of my daughters. I smirk at the fact she is being the voice of reason. Those moments pass and Katelyn speaks, “Are you ready for the rumble tomorrow night?”

I look at her and shrug, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I haven’t had the best of luck in this match over the past few years so who knows how it’ll go.”

Katelyn smiles, “Yeah the girls and I came into town. We didn’t want to miss out on Ace’s big night. They got excited over the fact that they’d get to see you wrestle too. I think it will be their first time seeing you live actually.”

Kismet whispers in my ear, “Ignore that, James. Be strong. Don’t let her see that it cuts you. The bitch probably feeds off of that. Don’t give her any more power of you.”

I ask, “You think she has power over me?”

Katelyn breaks me from my concentration, “James…are you alright?”

I nod my head, “Yeah I’m fine. I was just…you know…thinking about them seeing me wrestle. I now have even more reason to win this thing.”

She takes a sip of water, “What was your other reason?”

I shrug my shoulders, “Like you said…it’s going to be Ace’s big night.”

Her look of calm evaporates almost instantly. She sets her water down and walks towards me, concern in her eyes, “I am going to pretend that you’re not thinking about doing something you shouldn’t.”

I lock eyes with her, “Pretend away then…”

Katelyn turns away and softly nods her head, “You need to leave James. If you’re going to…”

I cut her off by grabbing her by the throat, slamming her against the refrigerator, I hiss at her as I whisper, “If I’m going to what? Hurt dear ol’ Uncle Ace? I may not hurt him now but sooner or later, I am going to. You won’t be able to protect him forever.”

She wiggles around, trying to get away from my grasp. It pleases me to watch her struggle as she says, “What…about…your…” She coughs and gags as my grip tightens, “Daughters…” The words echo in my brain and my grips loosens. I let go and step back as she grabs at her throat, coughing as she tries to catch her breath, “You’d hurt them so much more…if…if you hurt him…”

Kismet reminds me to not let Katelyn have any power over me. I nod as I step forward, making sure Katelyn is looking me in the eye as I say, “When it happens…” I smirk, “You can tell them that it’s all your fault for what you did to me.”

Katelyn glares at me, “Get out. Get the fuck out…RIGHT NOW…” She shoves me and I can’t help but smile. She shoves me out of the kitchen and through the living room, edging me closer to the door. I stare down the hallway and I see my daughters, sadness on their faces.

“It’s okay girls…Daddy loves you…” I shout down the hallway as Katelyn opens the door behind me and shoves me outside, before slamming the door in my face. As the door comes to a close, I blink. I reopen my eyes and I find myself back in my car. I look around puzzled for a moment, before realizing I am still at the Hospital for Sick Children. I pinch the bridge of my nose again, before the words slip out of my mouth, “What the fuck is wrong with me…” I ask, shaking my now throbbing head from side to side.

“Nothing…” I hear a voice call out to me. I look around and I see no one. Not even Kismet.

I close my eyes, squeezing them tight, doing my best to shut myself off from everything but the voice comes back, “Don’t fight it. Don’t be afraid. I was only showing you what will more than likely happen. I want you to be prepared, James.”

I gasp, “Who are you…”

The voice releases a gruff sigh, “James…you know who I am. I’ve always been here. You just shut me out of your life. I’m not mad at you, but you can’t shut me out much longer. You’re going to need me, son. You’re going to need me…my good boy…”

I open my eyes and look around as the voice dies out and the rest of the world comes back to me. I look in the car for a few moments before whispering, “…Abel?”

And then my cell phone rings. I grab it and look at the screen. It says I have a message from Katelyn from ten minutes ago. I read it: “Sorry I’m just now getting back to you. I don’t think it’s a good time to see the girls right now. We will be at THOTF to show support.”

And then I scroll down to see that she had sent a picture message previously as well. I open it and it is a drawing of a family, just like the one I just saw in my mind. I ask myself if I had seen it beforehand. If I had, I don't remember it. I shake my head, wondering how much time I had lost. I then look back at my phone, seeing that Katelyn also wrote: “Kelly drew this. Wanted me to show you.”

I grip my phone as hard as I can before slamming it down against the dashboard over and over again until it snaps and breaks. I then lean back in my seat, laughing as the image of choking enters my mind once more. I laugh a little bit more at how real it seems and how good it feels to have my hands around her throat.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Journal Entry

June 11th, 2016

…As the dream continued, I walked with Kismet for she told me she knew where the sharks, the vixens were. She told me that I needed to do what I had to do in order to ensure that I never drown beneath them again. I remained silent during our walk as we finally reached our destination. We stood outside of the gate as it surrounded a mansion. I looked at the center of the gate where a name plate rested. I leaned closer to read what it said. It read:

“Main Event Manor.”

I scoffed at that before ascending the gate with Kismet right behind me. Once on the other side of the gate, she and I dunked down behind the bushes, doing all we could in order to remain stealthy. We edged our way closer to the house and then stopped. I looked into the living room windows of the house and I could see them all. The Blonde Bombshell. The Bad, Bad Girl. The Hell-Cat and the Sexy, Flawless one. They were all laughing and drinking champagne which was being poured by the Perfect Ten, who was making her rounds, making sure all the glasses were full. As I watched, I felt my stomach turn and I heard its growl, ready for me to feed its appetite.

Kismet asked, “Are you going to go in there and take them all on one at a time?”

I told her no. That I would pick them off one by one. I told her it would be much more fun that way. I didn’t want to start with them anyway. My eyes scanned the room, searching for the Red Devil, but I could not see her. I took a few steps back and looked up towards the upstairs windows, but there was nothing but darkness.

She was the strongest and would be my biggest challenge, at least in my eyes. Kismet and I began to circle the mansion but it didn’t take long until I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. Away from the house, walking through what appeared to be a garden, was the Red Devil, walking around in a flowing white gown. I watched, studying her every move. She looked over towards me but I dunked down, making sure she couldn’t see me but not far enough as to where I couldn’t maintain my view of her.

The Red Devil turned away from me and walked out of the garden, beginning to walk down another path, leading her even further from the house. I admired her beauty from far away before Kismet reminded me why I was there. I waited a few moments before quietly making my way towards the same path, slowly creeping into the darkness, knowing that out of the Devil and I, only one of us would come back alive.

I stepped to the side and closed my eyes, counting to ten forwards and backwards, before opening my eyes and allowing them to adjust to the darkness. I took a few deep breaths before continuing down the path. I edged closer to the path’s end, where I found the Red Devil standing next to a pond. She bends down to touch. I watch as she runs her hand back and forth in an elegant manner before I step out from the darkness…

- - - - - - - - - - -

June 9, 2016

New York City, New York

Sitting in my apartment now, I hold the remote and press play, seeing the faces of Rachel Foxx and Ace Marshall on my television screen. I watch as Foxx stops herself at the ropes. She turns and Ace hip tosses her over. She hits the mat and I can’t help but chuckle a bit. I watch as she gets up and suddenly Ace runs into the ropes behind him. He bounces off and nails her with the One Eyed Royal. The crowd ohs and cheers as Foxx hits the mat. Ace turns and slowly rolls over to her and grabs her, but doesn’t go for the pin. I pause for a moment and I stare at Ace, leaning closer towards the TV and I wonder…what was going on in his mind at that moment.

I wonder if he felt if the aftermath of the SCW Championship would be worth it because he knew Kennedy would be expecting him to hand over the title. I wonder if he was thinking about doing it for her. I lean back in my seat and press play.

Sharper: “Oh what a knee! That One Eyed Royal!”

Winters: “And she may be out!”

I shake my head because it seems like even the commentators love Ace Marshall. Maybe not so much Shawn, but he still praises the man’s work. Reminds me of my daughters with the only difference being that I wouldn’t harm my children.

Knots: “Cover him you asshole!”

I watch as Ace instead pulls Rachel Foxx up and hooks her up and plants her with the Aces Wild. I listen as the crowd makes that ever so ignorant and annoying “Oh” sound, before returning my attention to the match. Foxx is laid out as Ace hooks the leg, folding her over as the referee makes the three count for the pin fall. The crowd goes crazy as the bell sounds. I pause the TV once more before getting off of the couch and walking towards the screen that holds Ace’s face and its exhausted expression. I press my nose against the screen where Ace’s nose is and I say, “You have no idea Ace. No idea how many times I wanted to hurt you and maim you before you ever made it to the arena. I wanted to cut your Achilles’ tendon. I wanted to drive a knife straight into your spine so you could never fucking walk again. But I didn’t. I let you have your moment,” I say before fast forwarding it and pausing it again, where Ace is shown holding the SCW Championship, “Enjoy it while it lasts you piece of shit. Enjoy it while it lasts because I am going to take it from you. I am going to humiliate you. I am…” I stop as there is a knock at the door. I turn towards the door, flipping the TV off.

I walk towards the front door to my apartment and peer through the peep hole. I see a man, around my age, maybe a little younger standing on the other side. I step back, wondering if I am imagining this just as I did with the visit to Katelyn’s hotel room. I close my eyes and tell myself that he’s not there. That no one is there but there is another knock. I look at the peep hole once more and he is still standing there. I take a few deep breaths, doing my best to calm myself before opening the door, putting on my best first impression smile I can as I lock eyes with the man and say, “Hello. May I help you?”

He looks at me, “James Evans?”

“Well it depends on who’s asking if you know what I mean,” I reply, following it up with a sarcastic laugh, letting him that I don’t appreciate him. Whoever he is. I take a step back and really study the guy, trying to figure out if I know him.

And then I hear Kismet say, “Oh no…”

He then speaks, “Look, I know you’re James Evans. You’re all over television, on the sports channels. But beyond that, I know who you are. We are from the same neighborhood. You may not recognize me because you and I never talked or hung around one another.”

I step forward, “Alright, look asshole…I don’t know who the fuck you are…”

He throws his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can understand why you feel threatened…”

I chuckle, “That’s an understatement. Who the hell are you?”

“My name is Heath King.”

I look at him, feeling confused, “Okay…”

Kismet whispers, “James…I’m sorry…”

As Heath says, “Heath King…Does the name Kismet…King ring a bell?” My heart begins to thud against my chest, “Kismet she is…was…my sister.”

I do all I can to seem calm. I motion for Heath to come into my apartment. As he steps inside, I think about closing the door behind me and wrapping my arms around his neck before applying enough pressure to break it but I don’t. A part of me knows that I’ve caused enough pain towards his family. I close the door and nod my head, calming myself, “Yes. I remember Kismet…”

Heath spins around and we lock eyes, “I’d hope so. I mean how could you forget? I mean, it’d be hard to forget someone you watched die. Am I right or am I right?”

I coldly state, “I try not to remember the negative aspects of my life…especially my past,” There is a silence between us, but our eye contact remains, “What can I do for you, Heath? I mean, why are you here?”

He smiles and shakes his head, “Sorry James. I really do apologize. I am actually a sports journalist and I’ve been asked to interview you about your big win at…what is it…” He pulls out his cellphone and scrolls through it before nodding his head, “Taking Hold of the Flame…Man, who would have thought? You’d be this big famous wrestler…and I’m a journalist…and here we are…after all of this time…Kind of ironic isn’t it?”

I stare blankly, “I don’t see any irony, Heath.”

I hear the voice, not belonging to Kismet speak, “A journalist? Don’t fall for that James. He’s lying. We both know it.”

Heath replies, “You don’t? Well, the last time I ever saw you was the day my sister died. I never thought I’d see you again but here you are, in the flesh.”

I step closer towards him, “And here you are…in my apartment…lying to my face.”

Heath smirks, “Lying…about what?”

“You’re not a journalist, Heath.”

He shrugs, “Yeah I am. But you are right. I have been lying. I am not here to interview you, James. But you can’t really hold lying against me. I mean, it takes one to know one. Isn’t that how the expression goes?”

I take another step closer, “And what have I lied about exactly, Heath? Hmmm? What have I lied about you?”

His smirk fades, “You said you didn’t kill my sister. That she just fell.”

“And you don’t think that happened? You come into my apartment…my home and make these accusations? How fucking dare you!!!” I shout. I look over and I see Kismet standing in the corner of the room, her face buried in her hands as she slides down to her ass, sobbing and shaking her head from side to side.

Heath responds, pointing his finger in my face, “No!!!” He shouts, “How dare you. You ruined my family. You drove my father to suicide by taking his daughter…my sister…from him. From us.”

I lock eyes with him after pushing his finger out of my face and I calmly reply, “I didn’t kill your sister, Heath. But if you don’t get out of my apartment in the next few seconds…well as the law states…I am within my legal rights to defend myself. If I have to end your life, I can and it will be legal. Self-defense is a lovely thing,” I say, feeling a grin form on my face.

Heath nods, “I’ll go but I will let you know this. I don’t believe you. I know you’re lying about that day. You took everything from me and you have to pay. I will make you pay.”

My grin disappears, “And I will make you pay for the next word that comes out of your goddamn mouth,” While keeping my eyes locked with his, I reach out and point towards the front door, “Get out…Run while you still can, you piece of shit…”

Heath steps away, keeping his gaze upon me. I watch as he backs out of the room and opens the door before stepping outside and closing it. I stand there and I wait a few moments before turning to face Kismet. She is now standing in front of me, tears running down her cheeks as she reaches up and wraps her arms around my neck and she whispers, “I’m sorry…James…I’m so sorry…”

I grab her arms and violently pull them off of me and shove her away. We lock eyes and I speak, venom in my voice as I say, “I need you to stay the fuck away from me, Kismet. Stay here. Stay anywhere but with me. Hell, just fucking stay gone…”

I turn away and I grab my bags and head towards the door, as she calls out, “I’m sorry James. But please don’t leave me. I’m your destiny. We are meant to be together.”

I stop, my hand wrapped around the knob and I turn to her, speaking once more before leaving and I say, “You say that and maybe you’re right but as of right now, Kismet…my sweet Kismet, you are nothing to me. You hear me? You’re dead. Do you understand?” She says nothing and neither do I. I open the door and close it behind me.

I make my way down the hallway and I can hear her screams coming down the hall. I step inside of the elevator and the doors close, closing me off from her screams. I stand behind a woman…a very attractive woman and I think about taking all of my anger out on her, to punish her for my own sins but I don’t. The elevator doors open and she steps out. They close once more and this time I see the reflection of someone else.

I’ve seen him before. It’s just been a very long time. I turn to him and he smiles at me as I return the favor before saying, “Hello Abel…Long time…”

His smile fades behind his beard as he calmly speaks, “Oh yes, James. Very long time. We have much to discuss and so much to do.”

I nod, “Yes…” I let out a sigh of relief, “Yes, we do.”

- - - - - - - - - - -

United Arena

Chicago, Illinois

June 10th, 2016

I sit in my locker room, eyes glued to the TV screen as Red Rayne stands in the ring. I listen intently to her as she speaks, talking about how she lasted eighty minutes and how everyone feared the worst. That she would be in the position I am in as the current number one contender.

Abel speaks, sitting across from me in my locker room, his eyes on Rayne as well, “She is rather confident isn’t she, James?”

Not taking my eyes from the screen I reply, feeling my blood boil the more I watch and the more she talks, “Yes that she is. She is like everyone else in this company. They overlook anything and all that I do. She, like most of the roster, wants it to be all about her, ignoring the accomplishments of others.”

Abel smirks and shakes his head. I see him, out of the corner of my eye, look over at me, “Don’t let her get to you, James. She is good but she is also good at burying people with her words, making them seem like nothing. You pick up on this better than most.”

I nod, “I spent over eighty minutes in the ring as well but to her, I am nonexistent.”

Abel cuts me off, “You are going to have to prove to her that you do exist. That you do matter. People took notice of you when you won but she is desperate for attention. She is doing her best to overshadow you. You are going to have to take her out at the knees.”

I listen a bit more to Rayne’s diatribe and I cannot help but shake my head. There is also a part of me that feels amused, “Everyone else in that ring rallied against her? Once again…she believes it’s all about her. She wasn’t the only one in the ring. Everyone was fighting everyone. You’re right though, Abel. She is desperate and by listening to her words, you can tell. You can sense the desperation by her actions as well, taking that Katya girl and brainwashing her. That sort of stuff amuses me. Always has. Listening to her makes me wish my dream could come true. I would love nothing more than to shut her up permanently.”

Abel shrugs, “That can be arranged, James.”

I pause for a moment, ignoring Rayne as she continues to speak. If I were to take her life in reality, I would want to do so much more to her than strangle her. I tell myself that once I started to hurt her, I don’t think I would be able to stop myself. I tell myself that even though ridding this life of her existence, it wouldn’t be as sweet as beating her at the game she clearly believes she rules and dominates. I let out a sigh, “No. I am going to make sure that I give her a reason to pay attention to me when our paths do inevitably cross.”

Abel gets up from his seat and walks over to me, standing behind me as we both continue to watch Rayne, “What makes you so sure you two will meet in the ring?”

“Because why wouldn’t we? She and I lasted the longest in the ring, but I was the last man standing. I survived. She will come after me either way and I will have to be ready. She will look at me and think that I fear her. That is her mentality. She believes everyone fears her because she can take a lot of pain and has no issue with serving it as well.”

Abel chuckles a bit, “Sounds like you two have a little more in common than one would actually think.”

I snicker, “We may have something in common, but there is a difference. I don’t believe everyone fears me. I could care less if anyone fears me. Even if they did, I am not going to brag about it constantly. I will leave being the broken record to her and others like her, such as her sister. But in the matter of taking pain and dishing it out, I guess when the time comes, we will find out who can handle more and…”

Abel finishes my statement, “You’ll find out who can dish it out more as well. If you ask me, those who talk the most about it are the ones you end up being amongst the weak. She sees you and everyone else in that matter…”

I return the favor, “Because she is insecure and needs to feel dominant. She is good at this. Very good. A lot better than I was when I first started out. She has done a lot more than I have done up until this point. I could not and would not take that away from her. She won’t give me my due however, but I will give her hers by destroying her and leaving her to struggle while I stand victorious.”

Abel pats me on the shoulder, “That’s good James. Keep that mindset. For far too long these people have seen you as weak but you have put them all on notice. They have seen you feeling sorry for yourself. They don’t know how handle you being confident. In a way it does scare them because they truly have no idea what you are capable of doing. Of what you will do…”

I watch as Rayne walks towards the back and the urge to run out and club her repeatedly and bashing her face into the brick wall runs through my mind. It brings a smile to my face as well as Abel’s. I shake my head before climbing to my feet and looking at Abel, “So why are you here, Abel?”

He tilts his head to the side and shrugs, “I felt like it was time, James.”

I stare into his eyes, puzzled, “Time for what exactly? Kismet came into my life and…”

Abel shakes his head, “She has been nothing more than a pawn, James. I used her to help open your eyes. Now that your eyes have been opened, it was time that I returned in order to help you along your path to greatness.”

“You two are nothing more than voices in my head, Abel.”

He presses his hand against his chest and agony appears on his face, “Oh, James that cuts me deep. We both know that I am much more than just a voice. I am you. I am the darkness inside of you. The monster you have buried deep after all of these years. The monster you’ve been afraid to take center stage.”

I lean in a little closer, “Who are you exactly?”

He chuckles, “I’m you. I’ve been you when you decided to have your father killed. I am you when you dream those dreams of killing the people you work with. I was you when you pushed Kismet off of the fucking logs and watched her fall to her death. I am you when you go out to that ring and nearly cripple someone like that one guy…what was his name? Simon? Simon Lyman…yes that’s the one!” He says, playfully punching me in the shoulder, “I was you when you told everyone that Kismet fell. I was you when you put on a great performance filled with sympathy. You should go ahead and just accept the fact that you are a monster and you always have been. You’re also very charming when the time calls for it. You and I, James…we’ve always made a great team.”

I shake my head, “No…not that’s not true. I didn’t have my father…” I press my hands to my face, as a vision appears in my head. I see me standing with two guys, paying them money. I see me sitting in my car with them as we watch my father stumble out of a bar only to fall face first into the snow. I see me standing near a grave with a blank stare while Abel stands behind me with a sinister grin on his, “Killed…”I whisper, quickly realizing it’s true.

“And Kismet…she was sent to get you out of your funk and she was able to do that. But for everything else…for what is about to come…I needed to be here. She would have misguided you. She was born in your mind out of tragedy. Me…I was born to give you life,” Abel says, standing behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, speaking directly in my ear.

“Give me life?”

He nods his head, “Yes. I wanted to be here for you so I could make sure you were able to go out there and hand that red headed cunt her fucking lungs. So you could go out there and destroy that Ace fucker and bring him down to a level he has never known.”

The talk of harming Ace brings a smile to my face, “What level is that?”

Abel smirks as do I, and he says, “Fear. It is time that he feels fear and not that cartoon bullshit Red was babbling about. Our actions will speak louder than her words.”

We turn and face one another, smirks remaining on our faces as I say, “Starting tonight…”

Abel nods, “Oh yes. You go out there and make sure Ace understands that he is going to be in a fight.”

- - - - - - - - - - -

A Few Hours Later…

June 10th, 2016

Abel tells me to play it cool so I do. I go out and listen to the roar of the crowd. I smirk at the reaction, because I don’t really give a damn about what they think or how they feel. The people are fickle. As soon as I start bashing Ace or attacking him, they will boo me. It will be so typical and it will be welcomed. I take my seat with Lexy and I go through the motions, answering her questions, pretending to listen to more of the crowd reaction. Pretending to give a shit about what Lexy has to say or ask.

And then it hits…I turn and look at the entrance way. I watch as Ace Marshall walks out. Kennedy isn’t far behind. I shake my head in disbelief, telling Abel, “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Ace Marshall, the man who answers to no one…how pathetic he is.”

Abel asks, “Do you think he’ll hand over the title?”

I reply, keeping my eyes on Ace, my enemy, “No. He loves the spotlight too much. He gets off on attention.”

Abel steps beside me and looks at him with me, sharing my opinion, “Well let’s make sure he realizes, along with everyone else, that the spotlight is shining down on you now.”

Ace and Kennedy get into the ring. I step back, letting them have their moment, as moronic as it is. The entire time, I am a dog chomping at the bit, ready to attack and tear Ace to shreds. To let him bleed out all over the ring. The thought of crushing Kennedy’s skull with a sledgehammer crosses my mind as well. I watch as their overdramatic break up goes on. I even muster up some laughter when Kennedy attacks Ace for not giving her the World title. I want to applaud him because I hate Kennedy. I can’t stand her, but I do nothing except wait.

I wait for the right moment. Ace takes Kennedy out of the ring and stands next to the ropes, gloating and taunting her in typical Ace fashion. Abel holds back on my shoulder for a few moments, letting the anger I’ve had towards this man fester up just a little bit more. But then the hand comes off and I see red all around Ace, blocking out the rest of the world.

It is just him and I…

I grab him before he has any idea what is going on, driving him hard into the mat. I then take a step back and I watch him, stalking him as I slowly walk around him. Abel whispers in my ear, “He’s hurt, James. You’ve hurt him, son. Let him breathe for a few moments. Let him get to his feet. Let him feel like he has a fighting chance…”

Ace slowly gets to his feet, still trying to gain his bearings and then I move in once more, quickly locking in the Twinge, bringing him back down, choking the life out of him. I see him standing with Katelyn before they go behind closed doors. I squeeze tighter. I see him insulting me on Twitter. I squeeze tighter. I hear him gasping for air. I feel him flailing, trying to break free. I see him spending time with my daughters. I see their smiling faces as they hug him and I squeeze even tighter, using every ounce of strength that I have.

I am trying to kill him.

I am going to kill him.

And then Abel speaks, saving Ace’s life, “No James…not here, not now. Loosen up a bit but keep him down. Let him see the spotlight fading…”

I do as I am told. Ace continues to fight but I can feel him fading. Security runs down trying to get me to break the hold, but I don’t. I can hear Kennedy screaming at me like the moron she is, thinking that I am doing this for her. She knows deep down that I have no issue with choking her and breaking her goddamn neck. But she is an afterthought. All of them are.

Except Ace and I…

I take a few more moments to squeeze just a little tighter, letting out a roar before lifting Ace up and dropping him back down. I climb to my feet and security backs me away. I feel a grin appear on my face. I look to my left and I see Abel is smiling as well, clapping and cheering me on. I then turn and face the crowd, listening to their boos and I can’t help but chuckle. I shrug then go to step out of the ropes but I take one last look at Ace, looking almost lifeless on the mat as I tell myself that Ace has no idea what is yet to come.

I chuckle as I say to myself…

…The worst…

- - - - - - - - - - -

Journal Entry

June 11th, 2016

I slowly crept towards her, taking my time, not getting into any rush. She stood up and stared up at the moonlight. I told myself that she truly was beautiful but another voice, not Kismet, reminded me that this Red Devil, She-Devil…was my enemy. Beautiful but deadly and I needed to rid my life of her. I quietly remove my shirt then I lunge into my attack, telling myself that it was time to purge. That I needed to give into my inner most thoughts and desires.

I wrapped the shirt around her throat and tightened it in a knot, before yanking back, putting all of my body weight into it, as we crashed onto the ground. Her arms flailed as she fought. She struggled and the very thought of it in my dream made me erect. I was getting off on her struggles. The way her body writhed in pain, agony, and possibly even fear made it seem like we were fucking. I told her to continue to fight, to show me the Devil she claimed to be. She used her strength to roll to the right side, off of me but I maintained my grip. I then locked my legs around her waist, helping the shirt squeeze the life out of her.

I told her that her death would be the message she had only dreamed of sending. That I was going to be the fear she only talked about being. I told her that I wasn’t going to allow her to take from me anymore. None of them would take from me ever again. I told her that she would be the first and that after I finished with her, I would go back to the house and kill the rest of them. I told her I would make them feel far worse pain then they had made me feel. More pain than they could ever possibly imagine inflicting on someone else. More pain than she would ever get off on.

She continued to flail and struggle. I said nothing. I waited for the inevitable. I thought to myself that I had broken God in the past and now I had ended the life of the Devil herself. As her flailing died out, only her legs vibrated for a few moments, slowly ticking away the final moments and then there was a quiet sigh, a final gasp. I waited a few more moments before removing the shirt and rolling the Devil onto her back. I looked at her eyes as they glazed over. Her mouth hung wide open. I stared down at her luscious red lips and her curvy body before finishing myself off. I then pulled her now lifeless body close to mine and I held her, telling her that it was better this way.

I dreamt that I sat up after her body grew colder and I looked down at her. I pressed my hands to her face and started to move her lips, mocking her voice, asking “Why…why did you do this to me?”

I saw myself smirking as I answered, saying “You had to know that there are things far worse than the Devil.”

That I was one of the worst beings ever created and I was going to make the world and those around me truly suffer.

And that is when I woke up…

- - - - - - - - - - -

There was an angel named Lucifer. He was God’s favorite. But Lucifer wanted to challenge God, wanting to make Heaven something else entirely so what did God do? He banished Lucifer, letting his angel wings burn and fade into ash before throwing his favorite angel down into a fiery abyss.

The fiery abyss has been known as Hell.

If Hell exists, then Daisy Lee, you and I will go there together. I want you to know what Hell truly is like. It isn’t sitting in a basement, getting brainwashed and being fed this idea of anger as you were. You claim to be the Devil but as I’ve said before, the Devil has come in many forms, yet I have never truly believed in any of it.

Wednesday night at Breakdown…in front of the whole world…in front of the locker room consisting of those who fear you as well as those who worship you calling you Mommy…I am going to showcase the Devil for what he or she is…

…A Myth…

They say the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn’t exist…Tomorrow night we will find out for sure…

But if the Devil does exist, it’s not you, Daisy.

That would be…me.

Throw your head back and laugh all you want. You see, you are more like the God depicted in the Bible, because you always win. You are better than most and better than even you claim to be. The Devil loses in the Bible and I have experienced more loss than you could ever possibly have a fucking nightmare over. I have been through the Hell of this industry while your sister made you mad so you decided to dye your head red and put in some white contacts and claim to have a penchant for blood.

You are a spoiled brat who has been spared the rod.

You want what I have. You want to claim what I claim. You claimed that you would win at Taking Hold of the Flame, that you would outlast 39 other superstars, that everyone would crumble at your feet. You said it would be you and Rachel Foxx at Rise to Greatness. But before you said any of that, you said that you have tried to teach the world that not everything is set in stone. That is a contradiction if you ask me but maybe you’re just the exception because you have the look and can talk the talk.

I don’t need to look the look or talk the talk.

I have walked the walk and that path has been littered with open bottles, crushed pills, and broken needles. Hell has been inside of me, flowing through my veins. Now my mind is free of drugs and booze, but the hell never left. And it is sick of you babbling about shit you know nothing of. It knows you are one country song away from going back to your natural locks and daisy duke shorts. It is sick of you just as I am sick of you. It wants me to destroy you and I aim to do so. I aim to embarrass you at Breakdown in the world you feel you have dominated and have the right to rule over. But you see, you don’t. I have been here for years, fighting in the trenches, dishing out pain and taking my lashes from the likes of you and people like you. Even in defeat, I still get up and walk away.

So hit me with your best shot.

Do your best to cave in my chest. I am not William Mason. I will not fold.

You want my spot? You better start planning on going after my family. That is your thing now since you’ve become so desperate for spotlight even though it has been shining down upon you since you arrived here, earning yourself the aura that has wrapped itself around you like a bow on a Christmas gift. You’ve been gifted everything you claim you haven’t.

You came in with talent.

Even charisma.

Yet you want more and expect things to be handed to you because you have talked the talk only to walk out empty handed. And why is that? Because you haven’t been able to make the most of your opportunities. That is why you went after the old gimp’s daughter. You tried to use her to get what you wanted. That doesn’t smell of dominance. That smells of weakness. It has been said the Devil feeds off of weakness. Maybe that is why I feel so much stronger than you now than I ever have in the past. You want my title shot? Go after my family and see what happens.

Your sister asked me a few years ago if I was brave enough to put a gun to a man’s head and pull the trigger…

If I had it in me to take a life…

Go after my family and I won’t be like Mr. D. I will latch my teeth into your throat and rip it out. I will dance around in the red of a true Red Rayne bloodbath. I will gladly go to prison for my daughters. I will gladly go to prison knowing that I proved a point.

That I am dangerous.

I am not amongst the weak like everyone, including you, has labeled me.

Try your best to destroy me Red and I will do what you couldn’t do at Taking Hold of the Flame which is…SURVIVE.

Hurt me. Cut me open. I welcome it. I see blood, I become more alive. The hell inside of me gets to breath and it motivates me. I am not coming for a pound of flesh. I am coming to welcome you to the decay of everything you’ve preached, everything you’ve built over the last two years.

You are little Red Riding Hood and I am the Big, Bad Wolf and I am coming to tear you apart. You can laugh at me all you wish, brush me off all you want, but remember…nothing is set in stone.

Well…except for one thing and I’m not referring to you little Miss Daisy…

There is one thing for certain, Red. You are going to be in a fight for your life and it will have an impact that you will feel for a long time coming.